Addendum: how many cities can I fit in to two weeks...?

Okay, so when I published that post below just now I realised the title I started off with has nothing to do with what I ended up talking about! In my head the topic for the day was, "Update on elective planning!" LoL Thus, do allow me this addendum.

I spent more than a good few hours online this past weekend dreaming of where I want to go in those two weeks holiday I have on my way to The Gambia. Two weeks isn't a lot of time when you think about it and the possibilities are endless! How do I choose? One place I definitely want to go after my recent bout of web-surfing is Tunisia. I have to admit the Arab culture has always fascinated me and reading about the medina in Tunis, the ruins of Carthage, and exploring Saharan Africa... oh man, that really hits the spot. I thought of Morocco as well, but after doing the research and honestly thinking about it I think the main attraction would be being able to say to people, "Oh yeah, I went to Morocco. That Casablanca is pretty cool." Actually, no I lie, that would be reason #2 of 2. Number one would be to visit the Hassan II Mosque: the third largest mosque in the world, it looks out onto the Atlantic which can be seen through the gigantic glass floor for 25,000 worshippers, and one of the few mosques open to visitors. But I remain undecided as to whether that's worth the extra travel time and mu-lah associated with adding an extra city/country onto my two-week agenda. As it stands it looks like Seattle --> Boston/NY --> Tunis --> The Gambia. Now once I get to The Gambia that's a whole other chapter! I'm so excited! Which reminds me, I need to seriously start saving up some money cos all this travelling doesn't come cheap. Fo' sho.

how many cities can I fit in to two weeks...?

My Paeds run wrapped up on Friday, good riddance! LoL The oral exam with the Paediatrics Prof was tough and though I passed I have to say my dignity was shattered when I came out the other end. Thank you med school for yet another lesson in humility. But it's Paeds, my most difficult subject, so I accept my overall Pass with a grateful heart. It's crazy to think that unless I specialise in Paediatrics this is the last of any formal teaching on it... ever! Anyways it's over and that's all that counts.

Did some baking and Christmas shopping over the weekend (been doing bits and pieces whenever I can and am still not done!), then had a friend over Saturday night for which I cooked the most delicious elaborate dinner! At least, elaborate in my books: spinach, mushroom and feta stuffed chicken wrapped in bacon, served with galicky potatoes and salad, and leftover Christmas baking and coffee to finish. It was fun because I had a good afternoon to just go at my pace and really unwind doing it. I have to admit I find both cooking and baking quite cathartic when done under my circumstances with plenty of time and resources.

After that dinner I kind of went a bit downhill. During the month on Paeds I was on-call the first weekend, in Auckland the second, then on-call again the third weekend so I basically went through it with no breaks at all. I tend to do this to myself though -- push myself way too hard for a while and then something forces me to slow down (I wouldn't go so far as to call it "crash" but stand at the precipice of, you know?). So the past couple days I've been doing bare minimum, watching movies, catching up on rest. I still have this publication for my clinical trial from last summer to write up -- I hate having it hanging over my head still, urgh! yay the day it'll be done! -- as well as various tasks for NZMSA. Being productive has its downsides especially when you just need to take a break and feel you can't! Oh well, they're shelved for now, it'll all just have to wait.

Despite all this, I'm feeling much better, in-my-head-wise. All that internal drama with surgery and training programmes -- it's behind me now. I caught up with one of the Profs here who I did research with a few years ago (and who remains a sort of de facto mentor) and he really put my mind at ease. He reassured me that I'm on the right track and it was okay not wanting to get caught up in the "rat race" that can be a career in surgery (he too is a renown surgeon!). He really encouraged me to not be afraid to do my own thing on my own terms at my own pace like I'd always planned, but to do so strategically nonetheless. And that is exactly what I needed to hear. Teachers, mentors, they do so much for so little in return. I've had a couple truly incredible mentors throughout my life and I will forever be indebted to them, a heart filled with gratitude. :)

So yes, I'm definitely starting to plan ahead the next two, three years of my life, but with my usual brand of enthusiasm and excitement, not stress or worry. All in all, I'm revved up and ready! It's no longer, "...here... I go... again... *sigh*..." but, "HERE I GO AGAIN, YE-AH BABY!!!" Hehehe... Things are definitely looking up, kid!


On a completely different note, Christmas... man, already! I'm not sure if it's being in NZ (summer and all!), being older, being the family of four we've always been, or a combination of all of the above, but Christmas always feels so chilled out and anticlimactic (in a good way). I'm not very affected by the commercialism, shopping just feels like shopping, and the closest I get to the "Holiday Spirit" is wanting to watch Home Alone and make hot apple cider if only I knew how. LoL It's nice though, it being so chilled out. Kirsty's flying down tomorrow for an entire week (yay!) and our usual barbecue Christmas Day. Dad and I have decided to do a father-daughter day tramp up Mount Cargill on New Years Day which should be nice, so long as he doesn't lecture me the entire time!

This year has been so full of the highest of highs and so symbolic of the passing of one era of my life to the beginning of another that in comparison this holiday season feels so ordinary. A chance to catch my breath in the midst of all the crazy. And I gotta say, blogging from bed at nine in the morning and nothing but Anne of Green Gables: The Sequel on the agenda for the day? Catching my breath I most certainly am. :)

pet project!

A couple weeks ago Shuichi and I decided to take it upon ourselves to put together a wee booklet for the upcoming fifth years -- part informative, part encouraging -- as they head into the most intense year of medical school. Advice about the individuals run throughout the year and tips on how to prep for end-of-year finals. Not just what we did as individuals, but bringing together what our classmates did, what worked, what didn't... what we would have wanted to know in hindsight. And it's come together really well! Shuichi's girlfriend is gonna proof it tonight, final touches tomorrow, and then it'll be ready. It's taken more work than I originally thought, more hours than intended, but I can't believe how cool it's turned out... and in the end if it makes fifth year just that much easier or better or more manageable... if it encourages just one person, it would have been worth it. :)

a little too... Christina Yang?

Things have calmed down a bit this past week. Last weekend I was in Auckland for the final NZMSA Exec meeting of the year. Despite the fact that more than half the Exec are away overseas it was still good to recap what we've done and our plans for 2010. The meeting was relatively informal and not too content heavy which was nice (and so foreign) because normally by Saturday afternoon my brain is utterly fried and Sunday can become a mission. But like I said, lack of numbers and formality kept things pretty easy-going. A few of the Exec members who were there had just had their first week as doctors so it was good to hear how they were going and what I have to look forward to in less than a year's time. :) Also, due to a semi-late start Sunday morning, one of the Exec members and I had a chance to catch up over breakfast -- he's an Aucklander and, as I found out halfway through the year, a Christian. It's been really awesome getting to know him and he's quickly become a good friend. In particular it turned out that we were going through some similar stuff this year in our respective lives regarding relationships and being Christian and single and in our early twenties, etc., which is an area/topic largely untouched, unaddressed by most church communities, so it's been good sharing resources, insight and encouragement.

The other upside of the weekend was that I got to catch up with my sister! And what's more check out her new fancy apartment in Parnell. She was previously living in a tiny studio close to the med school/hospital, but now has "upgraded" with a friend of hers to a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment. Much, much roomier I have to say. On Friday night I shouted her and Anthony out to dinner which was nice. Then Saturday night after the usual Exec dinner I passed on going out to town with them and Kirsty and I did Movenpick icecream and videos instead -- awesome. And because the meeting finished a wee bit earlier than expected Sunday afternoon Kirsty and I had a chance to do some shopping in Newmarket before I had to head to the airport. So, all in all, a very fun weekend.

It's been a bit less hectic at the hospital too. I've been largely hanging out at PAU (the emergency Paediatric Assessment Unit) trying to admit kids as they come in. Plus we had like three different presentations to give, which on the whole all went alright. One more presentation and an oral test to do this week and then, IT'S OVER! First run of TI year... man, this year is gonna be over before I know it.


I have to admit, I've been in a funny head space lately. I think it's been ever since a few of us on the surgical interest club committee caught up with our "mentor" surgeon ("Mr A") to talk about our plans for the upcoming year. It was a really worthwhile meeting because Mr A ended up going on a huge tangent about the application process for surgical training. And despite working my butt off these past couple of years with research and extra-curricular stuff, it seems there has been a big hole in my approach. On retrospect, although I have no regrets for the research I've done (bioethics, surgical education, endocrinology) I can't help but think maybe I should have... been more... surgically-minded?? I dunno... and my overseas elective that I've been planning for the past year... it's not surgical at all. And although it wouldn't count against me in my future application, realistically I could do something that could count FOR me??

There's a part of me that's thinking, well, I told myself from the get-go that I wouldn't become this all-surgery, all-the-time, nothing-but-surgery kind of person, that I would still have other interests and not let it dictate my life... However, the potential downside to that (I've now realised upon looking into what it takes to successfully apply to the surgical training program) is that maybe I do need more of that "focused" mindset if I wanna get in... as I most certainly do. I also learnt from my conversation with Mr A that if you're accepted into the training program you can choose to defer for a year, so even if I apply as soon as possible (which I told myself I wouldn't do cos what's the rush? there are heaps of other stuff I wanna do in my life before making that huge commitment... but which now I am seriously contemplating doing... lol), there's the potential to get accepted, have that security and then spend a year travelling and volunteering overseas as per the original plan.

*Sigh*... I dunno... It's crazy though because things are getting a bit more serious now. Like it's not just about, "Oh yeah, I was thinking maybe surgery, but who knows what'll happen," to, if I want it I need to start knuckling down so to speak and plan out the next couple of years of my life... which... I know, sounds all a bit too hard-core... but... I've always been the kind of person who, if I know what I want, I go for it. Full stop. And, I know what I want. So... I guess... that means... here I go again.