a little too... Christina Yang?

Things have calmed down a bit this past week. Last weekend I was in Auckland for the final NZMSA Exec meeting of the year. Despite the fact that more than half the Exec are away overseas it was still good to recap what we've done and our plans for 2010. The meeting was relatively informal and not too content heavy which was nice (and so foreign) because normally by Saturday afternoon my brain is utterly fried and Sunday can become a mission. But like I said, lack of numbers and formality kept things pretty easy-going. A few of the Exec members who were there had just had their first week as doctors so it was good to hear how they were going and what I have to look forward to in less than a year's time. :) Also, due to a semi-late start Sunday morning, one of the Exec members and I had a chance to catch up over breakfast -- he's an Aucklander and, as I found out halfway through the year, a Christian. It's been really awesome getting to know him and he's quickly become a good friend. In particular it turned out that we were going through some similar stuff this year in our respective lives regarding relationships and being Christian and single and in our early twenties, etc., which is an area/topic largely untouched, unaddressed by most church communities, so it's been good sharing resources, insight and encouragement.

The other upside of the weekend was that I got to catch up with my sister! And what's more check out her new fancy apartment in Parnell. She was previously living in a tiny studio close to the med school/hospital, but now has "upgraded" with a friend of hers to a 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment. Much, much roomier I have to say. On Friday night I shouted her and Anthony out to dinner which was nice. Then Saturday night after the usual Exec dinner I passed on going out to town with them and Kirsty and I did Movenpick icecream and videos instead -- awesome. And because the meeting finished a wee bit earlier than expected Sunday afternoon Kirsty and I had a chance to do some shopping in Newmarket before I had to head to the airport. So, all in all, a very fun weekend.

It's been a bit less hectic at the hospital too. I've been largely hanging out at PAU (the emergency Paediatric Assessment Unit) trying to admit kids as they come in. Plus we had like three different presentations to give, which on the whole all went alright. One more presentation and an oral test to do this week and then, IT'S OVER! First run of TI year... man, this year is gonna be over before I know it.


I have to admit, I've been in a funny head space lately. I think it's been ever since a few of us on the surgical interest club committee caught up with our "mentor" surgeon ("Mr A") to talk about our plans for the upcoming year. It was a really worthwhile meeting because Mr A ended up going on a huge tangent about the application process for surgical training. And despite working my butt off these past couple of years with research and extra-curricular stuff, it seems there has been a big hole in my approach. On retrospect, although I have no regrets for the research I've done (bioethics, surgical education, endocrinology) I can't help but think maybe I should have... been more... surgically-minded?? I dunno... and my overseas elective that I've been planning for the past year... it's not surgical at all. And although it wouldn't count against me in my future application, realistically I could do something that could count FOR me??

There's a part of me that's thinking, well, I told myself from the get-go that I wouldn't become this all-surgery, all-the-time, nothing-but-surgery kind of person, that I would still have other interests and not let it dictate my life... However, the potential downside to that (I've now realised upon looking into what it takes to successfully apply to the surgical training program) is that maybe I do need more of that "focused" mindset if I wanna get in... as I most certainly do. I also learnt from my conversation with Mr A that if you're accepted into the training program you can choose to defer for a year, so even if I apply as soon as possible (which I told myself I wouldn't do cos what's the rush? there are heaps of other stuff I wanna do in my life before making that huge commitment... but which now I am seriously contemplating doing... lol), there's the potential to get accepted, have that security and then spend a year travelling and volunteering overseas as per the original plan.

*Sigh*... I dunno... It's crazy though because things are getting a bit more serious now. Like it's not just about, "Oh yeah, I was thinking maybe surgery, but who knows what'll happen," to, if I want it I need to start knuckling down so to speak and plan out the next couple of years of my life... which... I know, sounds all a bit too hard-core... but... I've always been the kind of person who, if I know what I want, I go for it. Full stop. And, I know what I want. So... I guess... that means... here I go again.