"I know you can feel overwhelmed, and you can feel underwhelmed, but can you just feel, whelmed?"

You know when so much happens in such a short amount of time that you barely have time to think about what you've gotten yourself into, let alone, write about it in any kind of reflective way? Yup, that's me right now. I feel... overwhelmed, sans the negative connotations. Yes, I feel overwhelmed; yes, I know I'm in way over my head; yes, for the first time in ages I feel like I'm holding on by the tips of my fingers, just barely scraping through to get what I need to get done, but strangely enough, I'm not stressed. At all. Which is an unusual feeling.

Starting the year off with hands-down the most intense and most time-consuming run would keep anyone crazy busy. Invercargill was great for ObGyn and I enjoyed obstetrics (or, at least the surgeries involved!), assisting in cesareans during my weekend on-call. But then, on top of it all, running for and being elected to the New Zealand Medical Students' Association (NZMSA) at the last minute; driving back from Invercargill then flying to Christchurch an hour later... then two days of intense meetings... constantly around people, talking ("serious" discussions, lol)... nights out... then back for a week of being rostered onto Paediatric Ward with 8am ward rounds every morning... and another rostered weekend on-call these past two days.

It's been a whirlwind, to say the least, my sanity rooted in nonnegotiable minimum seven hours sleep, and making time to go for a run every couple days! But I'm enjoying it all. Tired, but truly satisfying.

I never got into medicine because I enjoyed science (yikes!) or because I wanted to spend my life as a full-time clinician (double yikes!). And I have loved that I can find my own niche within the vast world of opportunity that Medicine offers. Despite feeling like I'm holding things together by the tips of my fingers, I'm enjoying this whole new world I've been thrown into (or, more accurately, chosen to leap into); although this whole NZMSA thing is relatively 'new' for me, I already feel so... at home. LoL I cannot believe how much I'm enjoying it. The board-rooms, the travel, the policy-writing, the meeting heaps of new, like-minded people -- articulate, overachieving, type-A personalities. And I'm glad I waited until now, well into clinical school, to get involved in such a 'big' thing; any earlier and I don't think I would have gotten as much out of it or have been confident enough to have enjoyed it as much. What's even more exciting is that there are a couple others on the Exec who have a real interest in Global Health, and even though I know I can't take on any more 'projects' this year (cos I am certain I would struggle in exams if I did), because it's a 2-year post I have so much to look forward to come November 7 2009 and beyond! (Side-note: I cannot believe that come November I'll be a Trainee Intern! Has it really been five years?!?)

I've got so many "side-projects" and to-dos right now (hence the hanging-on-by-the-fingertips) that I'm just trying to keep up and avoid missing any huge deadlines. Clinical trial, case report, another small study, an offspring of my clinical trial; working on this new Increasing Med Student Numbers policy for NZMSA; NZ Med Students Journal; trying to support the new Med Christian Fellowship leaders; putting into motion my Medical Elective planning; typing up the first draft of my manuscript; school assignments... study everything about Paediatrics and ObGyn... lol So far so good, with the exception of actually studying. But I'll get there sooner or later.

I love how at the start of each year I can never predict how it's going to go, what will happen, what situations I'll find myself in. Is that the same with everyone or just me?

Week six of year five of medical school, and what an adventure it's already been... And Oh! what adventures lie ahead of me still...