...and do you ever hear voices in your head?

I talked to a patient all by myself for the first time in psychiatry today! Whoop-whoop! And I survived. Although...

Me: And do you ever hear voices in your head, or see things around you that aren't real?

Patient X: What, like the voice that's telling me to kill you right now?? HaHAhaHAha...

Me: [inner monologue] Holy crappers. Don't freak out, Anna, don't freak out. You know he's just joking... you know he's not schizophrenic. Stay calm.

Oh, what a day.

If choosing a specialty in medicine was purely about lifestyle, I can totally see how appealing psychiatry might be. You just sit there all day, literally repeat what the patient says back to them every once in a while ("You say there's tension?" "Sad?" "Can you tell me a bit more about that?" "What do you mean by that?" etc), then write it all down. And make like however many hundred bucks an hour for it! Well, maybe you don't get paid quite that much in NZ (prob in the States you would!), but you get the gist. You don't even have to stand up or move or touch people. And it's quiet. And you'd probably get a huge office. And plenty of downtime, like starting at 9am, going home for lunch, doing a bit of work from home, then the gym, then whatever. Nice!