"Schmeh"

I've been feeling quite blasé about... just about everything this past week. It turns out I have an extra week on my geriatrics run because of all the disruptions we had with Easter, the holidays, and the strike. And because I finished all my assignments quite early on (so that I wouldn't be overwhelmed after I got back from Seattle), I haven't had much to do. Theoretically I should be hanging around the wards, talking to patients, etc., practise, practise, practise! But... my lack of motivation has been compounded by the cold weather, physical exhaustion, and that (what I'm beginning to realise is) end of run I'm-ready-to-move-on syndrome. Usually when I'm feeling less than "energetic" about clerking patients and whatnot, my guilt is enough to overcome this apathy. Yet strangely enough that guilt hasn't kicked in this time around. Same goes with spending money -- I've been bleeding money lately, not even thinking about it, shopping, coffees, eating out... but maybe that's my current coping mechanism for... stuff. This stuff that's been going on in my head which I won't get in to, but which I'm hoping will "resolve" soon before I become completely broke!

To be honest though, it's been nice, this not-worrying... this guilt-free pass. I can actually enjoy shopping, instead of worrying about the dent it's making in my bank account. I can actually enjoy watching West Wing instead of worrying about whether or not I should be reading Kumar and Clark. I can actually enjoy the free time I have right now precisely because I worked pretty hard pre-Seattle trip.

Today was a classic example of all of the above. I had an ophthalmology assessment from 8.30am - 10am, which went fine; I clearly passed, yay. I had a break till my neurology tutorial at 2pm, and because it was a gorgeous looking day (albeit absolutely freezing) I decided to go to the beach. I asked a friend/classmate if she wanted to go with me and she said most definitely so I helped her run an errand before getting my car and driving on down to St Clair. Because she doesn't have a car, she hasn't really been outside of town much, so it was great sitting in the restaurant with her, the beach in view, just chatting and eating and drinking coffee. Drove back to town by 1pm to have coffee with a couple other friends which was great. Then came home after the tutorial...

These are the kind of days I've been having lately... much needed, I think, though I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I didn't really get a chance to fully "recover" from my trip; maybe it's me being too in my head right now, as I sometimes tend to be every once in a while; maybe it's all of the above, and then some.

All I know is I've been watching West Wing instead of talking to yet another 80year old lady who fell while making dinner and is currently recovering from a broken humerus. I'm a horrible med student... but as my good friend Annemarie likes to say, "Schmeh."