Recent discovery from a friend of mine -- I can't stop listening to it. Incredibly... lovely. Like the modern singer-songwriter version of... Chopin. LoL. Okay, maybe not. But it's wonderful.
Monday, June 21, 2010
dream
Sunday, June 20, 2010
next time around
Friday was one of those days where every possible miscommunication that could have occured occured. It was one of those days that felt like nothing, absolutely nothing, went right. If a hospital ward is a big churning cog-wheeling machine, then Friday was a day of one cog-wheel breaking down after another.
And the invaluable lesson of the day was, a house surgeon (i.e. junior doctor) is the one smack dab in the middle of this cogwheeling machine. They are the ones juggling a thousand different peoples' agendas -- the consultant barking out (often very equivocal) orders, the registrar doing the actual "thinking" medicine; the nurses on the ground doing all those things that keep patients safe and (hopefully) happy; the physios/Occupational Therapists/Speech Language Therapists; the pharmacists; the lab; the vascular lab you just sent a referral to; the other hospital you're trying to organise a patient transfer to; and the list goes on... and on... and on... and on... and... ON. And then, of course, there are your actual, you know, patients. The sick people you're supposedly trying to help. And you do help them. All those little things, your lists and lists of seemingly inconsequential tasks are, in the end, what gets the tests done, the medications given, the paperwork completed so they can go home after they've been "healed." But man, when you're in the thick of it, trying to juggle a thousand different peoples' agendas -- people of different temperaments, with different expectations -- sometimes it's hard to see that "healing" light.
And Friday was one of those days... where I struggled to remember what the heck I was doing and why I was doing it. If I hadn't started my day off with some quiet time with God I know without a doubt I would've finished the day off despondent and, most likely, in tears. LoL. Oh man. It was pretty unreal. But what made it worse was my response. Despite starting my day off centered on Christ, I finished with an attitude not very Christ-like at all. And I disappointed myself...
Since I've started my Ward Management run -- getting a taste of what House Surgeon year will be like -- I've been really challenged in the attitudes of my heart in that kind of setting. When the pressure cookers really going and you're dealing with "personalities" more often then not, on top of sometimes crazy ridiculous demands as well as pure physical exhaustion, I've been challenged, even in that kind of setting, to have the heart of a servant, as Christ did.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." - Colossians 3:12-14
Clothe yourself... Love, which binds them all together in perfect unity...
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." - Colossians 3:22-24
Sometimes, as a House Surgeon, if can feel a bit like slaving away... and, if I'm being really honest, it can somtimes feel really thankless... but whatever I do, I should work at it with all my heart... as working for the Lord... with sincerity of heart... Wow... what a challenge.
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others... Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." - Philippians 2: 1-4, 14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing -- "grumbling" is used in other translations. And on that account, I completely failed.
Lord, thank you for your Grace and, with that, the opportunity to try to do better next time around. Thank you for a beautiful Saturday, the beautiful brunch at the beach with my beautiful friend. A reminder of your goodness. Give me the strength to do better, next time around. Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours. Amen.
And the invaluable lesson of the day was, a house surgeon (i.e. junior doctor) is the one smack dab in the middle of this cogwheeling machine. They are the ones juggling a thousand different peoples' agendas -- the consultant barking out (often very equivocal) orders, the registrar doing the actual "thinking" medicine; the nurses on the ground doing all those things that keep patients safe and (hopefully) happy; the physios/Occupational Therapists/Speech Language Therapists; the pharmacists; the lab; the vascular lab you just sent a referral to; the other hospital you're trying to organise a patient transfer to; and the list goes on... and on... and on... and on... and... ON. And then, of course, there are your actual, you know, patients. The sick people you're supposedly trying to help. And you do help them. All those little things, your lists and lists of seemingly inconsequential tasks are, in the end, what gets the tests done, the medications given, the paperwork completed so they can go home after they've been "healed." But man, when you're in the thick of it, trying to juggle a thousand different peoples' agendas -- people of different temperaments, with different expectations -- sometimes it's hard to see that "healing" light.
And Friday was one of those days... where I struggled to remember what the heck I was doing and why I was doing it. If I hadn't started my day off with some quiet time with God I know without a doubt I would've finished the day off despondent and, most likely, in tears. LoL. Oh man. It was pretty unreal. But what made it worse was my response. Despite starting my day off centered on Christ, I finished with an attitude not very Christ-like at all. And I disappointed myself...
Since I've started my Ward Management run -- getting a taste of what House Surgeon year will be like -- I've been really challenged in the attitudes of my heart in that kind of setting. When the pressure cookers really going and you're dealing with "personalities" more often then not, on top of sometimes crazy ridiculous demands as well as pure physical exhaustion, I've been challenged, even in that kind of setting, to have the heart of a servant, as Christ did.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." - Colossians 3:12-14
Clothe yourself... Love, which binds them all together in perfect unity...
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." - Colossians 3:22-24
Sometimes, as a House Surgeon, if can feel a bit like slaving away... and, if I'm being really honest, it can somtimes feel really thankless... but whatever I do, I should work at it with all my heart... as working for the Lord... with sincerity of heart... Wow... what a challenge.
"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others... Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." - Philippians 2: 1-4, 14-16
Do everything without complaining or arguing -- "grumbling" is used in other translations. And on that account, I completely failed.
Lord, thank you for your Grace and, with that, the opportunity to try to do better next time around. Thank you for a beautiful Saturday, the beautiful brunch at the beach with my beautiful friend. A reminder of your goodness. Give me the strength to do better, next time around. Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours. Amen.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
R & R
Another busy week has come and (almost) gone. I was on-call Thursday night; E.D. was super busy, with plenty of medical referrals (a real neuro evening -- seizure; fall/EtOH cerebellar ataxia; and ?stroke -- all great practice!) so I didn't get home until 11pm. Then I was up at 5.15am the next morning to meet the Cardiology Professor by 6am. Explanation: I found out a couple days ago that he had his once-a-month rural clinic on Friday so I asked if I could come along with him. Some consultants fly, but Prof apparently enjoys driving (flash-as BMW). So 6am it was! It was a jam-packed day: two hours of non-stop conversation during our drive there, over twenty patients (amazing clinical signs! I *heart* murmurs; and even felt x2 thrills!), followed by another two hours of conversation coming home. He's a really interesting guy and did his Fellowship at Mass General in Boston, so we had more than enough to chat about. In the span of four hours I think we covered his upbringing, my upbringing, his family, my family, his training, my training; the future; choosing a speciality; health economics; working overseas verses New Zealand; the art of medicine and doctor-patient interaction; and some general life advice.
One of the aspects of my medical training which I have found the most valuable these past three years is watching different consultants do their thing and, in particular, how they interact with their patients. What I took away from sitting in with this Professor for the day -- and what I wholeheartedly hope to emulate -- is how because of the way Prof approached his practice, every single patient (and their family) left the room smiling more than they had been when they walked in. I reflected on this observation on our drive back and asked Prof what his "take" on being a good doctor was. The conversation that followed only further solidified my respect for his philosophy on clinical practice. It was, for sure, a really long day, but so, so worth it.
Today: no phone, no alarm, sleeping in until I wanted to get out of bed (whoa!). And despite being chilly it was a sun-shining day, so I ended up going on the most beautiful, perfect hour run -- yay! Followed by laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen -- so satisfying. I'm on-call again tomorrow, which is technically like studying/working, so I decided today would be a guilt-free Me day. Running, cooking, cleaning. No phone. No rushing. No plans. And it has been a beautifully relaxing day. :)
"Think about what you truly enjoy doing (...But don't stew about it). And then, do it."
One of the aspects of my medical training which I have found the most valuable these past three years is watching different consultants do their thing and, in particular, how they interact with their patients. What I took away from sitting in with this Professor for the day -- and what I wholeheartedly hope to emulate -- is how because of the way Prof approached his practice, every single patient (and their family) left the room smiling more than they had been when they walked in. I reflected on this observation on our drive back and asked Prof what his "take" on being a good doctor was. The conversation that followed only further solidified my respect for his philosophy on clinical practice. It was, for sure, a really long day, but so, so worth it.
Today: no phone, no alarm, sleeping in until I wanted to get out of bed (whoa!). And despite being chilly it was a sun-shining day, so I ended up going on the most beautiful, perfect hour run -- yay! Followed by laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and kitchen -- so satisfying. I'm on-call again tomorrow, which is technically like studying/working, so I decided today would be a guilt-free Me day. Running, cooking, cleaning. No phone. No rushing. No plans. And it has been a beautifully relaxing day. :)
Monday, June 7, 2010
Another weekend for the history books!
I have no idea why I'm awake at 6.45am on my day off, but I am, two hours before my alarm. So unexpectedly have two extra "units of time" (Re: About A Boy, lol) unaccounted for. Read? (Currently at the bedside: The Elegance of the Hedgehog, which the Australian Medical Students Association President left at my place when he was crashing here.) Watch a dvd? (Too early.) Study? (Much too painfully early for the s-word!) Update my oh-so neglected online thought-bank? For sure. A hot Hazelnut Latte by my side, Jamie Cullum's new album playing in the background... check, check.
The end of May really was a blur of ACTION, all-go, no moment's pause to think, reflect... breathe. The third week of May culminated in moving from my parent's place (who have now shifted to the City of Sails) into my new flat on the Monday night; finishing up our six-week group Public Health project (of which I was team leader); rushing back and forth between my last E.D. shift and our project presentation to our clients on the Wednesday; preparing to host our national Student Association Exec meeting here.
Thursday
- 6.30am: woke up --> beautiful drive to the airport to pick up first lot of Exec members and the Conference organizing committee flying in.
- 7.30am: arrived at airport to find fog literally *just* over the runaway (unbelievable). Cue: panic. The plane circled above the airport for twenty minutes, with two failed attempts at landing; then an annoucement was made that they were running low on fuel and heading back up to Christchurch. *Horror* *Panic* Conference team needed to get to Queenstown to set up for our national Conference starting... tomorrow! At the last minute though the pilot attempted to land one more time... successfully! Thank goodness. Near Crisis #1, on the biggest weekend of our Exec's calendar. So now we were running super behind, but at least, we were running.
- 9 - 10am: Driving all around town, picking up various things and setting up for Exec meeting at St Margs College.
- 10.30am: Rest of Exec arrive, however delayed. And almost ready to start our meeting.
- 10.45 ~ 6pm: Face-to-face meeting. Non-stop. Full-on. Brain exhausted. Then half of our Exec left for Queenstown, while the other half stayed here the night. Three of them were also crashing at my flat. So the challenge of packing four adult bodies, and four suitcases/packs into my tiny three-door corolla hatchback.
- 7 - 10pm: Exec dinner at Etruscos. [My brain officially checked out as of four hours ago. lol]
- ~11.30pm: Bed. Crash.
Friday:
[Five hours sleep]
- 5.15am: wake up, pack for Conference which I had yet to do!! Wake up the others.
- 6.15am: all of us leave my place to pick up rental vans for Conference.
- 7am: meet Dunedin Conference delegates outside med school. There were two Exec members per van, one to drive, one to sit shot-gun and help. I was the latter.
- 7.45am: vans leave Dunedin --> my (awesome) van took a wee detour to the beach where I bought everyone a coffee! (Good start at getting to know one another, and breaking the ice -- TI grant put to good use.)
- 8.15 ~11.45am: loooong drive to Queenstown. But we had fun in our van. One of the girls baked these incredible chocolate cupcakes too. Mmmhmm...
- 12pm: catch up with everyone at the backpackers in Queenstown, register for Conference. It's freezing!
- 12.30pm: grab some lunch with a couple of the other Exec members.
- 1.30pm: Official opening of Conference by the mayor of Queenstown, with our 160 medical students from all over the country.
- 1.3o - 4.30pm: AMAZING RACE! It was AMAZING! We got random teams of 7 - 8, and it was a real race around Queenstown, just like the T.V. show. The Conference organizing team got the help of the tourism school in Queenstown (for free, I think?), and the race included a shot-over jet, rafting across the lake (who knew I would ever raft??), running all over town, awesome (not lame) team-building exercises, a Gondola ride, and even a bungy jump for one person in your group. AND my team came third! Out of like... twenty. There was A LOT of screaming on my part, trying to hype up my group, get them excited, encourage them. There was such an incredible buzz throughout the whole thing, and even teams who came last had just as much fun (if not more!). You really got to bond with these complete strangers in your group. It was... just incredible. I think the general consensus was that we could have all gone home now satisfied! But the screaming combined with the freezing air meant my voice was on the rocks Day 1 of Conference, lol.
- 4.30 - 7pm: recover from the physical exhaustion, shower, dinner, get ready for cocktail function.
- 7pm: marshal delegates to the cocktail function
- 7.30 - 10.30pm: cocktail function at a fancy bar in town. Lots of talking, in a very noisy environment = more strain on my already dodgy voice.
- ~11.30pm: Bed. Crash.
Saturday:
[Six hours sleep]
- 6am: wake up, shower, get ready
- 6.45am: set up breakfast for delegates
- 8am: coffee run for Exec
- 8.30am - lunch: incredible, inspiring speakers, to the point of getting teary-eyed more than on one occasion just due to pure inspiration and encouragement. "Points of failure." "Re-inventing yourself."
- Afternoon: going on a mission with one of the other Exec members, Vaish, to get bouquets for each of the Conference team. Turns out finding a florist that was open in Queenstown is not an easy feat. We ended up spending the entire afternoon walking around in the freezing cold, to end up finding a place a drive away. But eventual success. Our formal Conference dinner was up at the Skyline (a Gondola's ride up the mountain), so the two of us got an extra free ride up when approached them about hiding the flowers before dinner. It was so beautiful up there, with 360degree views of Queenstown. Vaish and I stood there for a while watching them set up for our dinner, taking in the views and the surreal atmosphere, just breathing it all in.
- And dinner was... incredible. One of the highlights of medical school. The only word that comes to mind is, EPIC. The three-course meal, the conversation, the views... the sexy, beautiful future doctors of NZ, lol. Our keynote was Simon O'Connor, co-author of Talley and O'Connor's Clinical Examination (one of the cornerstone textbooks for medical students!), and he was incredibly funny. He had this dry humour, he had all of us doubling over laughing -- a real stand-up comedian if you'd believe it! And then the dancefloor, the band, and by the end of the night, EVERYONE was dancing. One of the other Exec members and I had a wee fun competition to see how many speakers we could get up to dance, and I whupped his arse 5-2 -- I even got Simon O'Connor dancing! Every time I went over to him, he had a group of doe-eyed students around him; finally, I just politely interrupted, and asked him if he would like to dance! And he said yes! Oh man, it was pretty funny. Everyone was dancing, and having a blast. How often does that happen? Where no one feels excluded or intimidated or out-of-place. It was such a special night. We left the Skyline around midnight when the band wrapped up, and that was just the beginning... lol.
Sunday
[Two hours sleep]
- 6am: wake up, shower, get ready
- 6.45am: set up breakfast for delegates
- 7.20am: I had the esteemed job (two years in a row now!) of knocking on all the doors and waking up very, very hung-over medical students. Overcompensating with chirpy-ness and enthusiasm, with a hint of seriousness ("Good morning! It's 7.20am, and you now have forty minutes to get up, eat, look beautiful..." "I don't care if you're half asleep or hung-over, come 8.30 we want bums on seats for the first speaker!" "I rule with an iron hand!" "And to be a real b***h, I'm going to turn the light on... now.").
- 8.30 - 9.30am: clean up breakfast; room check to make sure there weren't any stragglers still sleeping. (I know, mean, but that was part of the deal of them accepting a place at Conference!)
- 10am: finalise everything with the backpackers staff
- 10.30am: head over to Conference venue, catch the last of sessions
- lunch, wrap up, then get my head around all the transport back. I was in a car with one of the other Exec members, and we got home four hours later at 6.30pm.
- 6.30pm: liaise with some of the other Exec members, get a couple of them to the airport
- 8pm: link up with the last three vans arriving, driven by the Auckland Exec boys who were staying at my place for the night
- 8.30pm: dinner with the three Auckland boys in town
- 9.30pm: Baldwin Street, as per request, lol
- 10pm: my place
- 11.30pm: Bed. Crash. Voice, gone. Throat, flaming. Nose, running.
Monday
[Five hours sleep]
- 5.30am: wake up, dress. Voice, definitely gone. Throat, burning. Nose, stuffed.
- 6am: drive one of the Auckland boys to the airport for his 7am flight back home
- 6.30am: drive back home
- 7am: Bed. Crash.
- 10am: wake up, feed the other two Auckland boys
- It was awesome hanging out with them for the day, despite being very unwell and most likely infectious. Impromptu coffee with the head of the UN bioethics committee; chat with the esteemed Paediatric surgeon and Professor of Anatomy; coffee at the beach. The perfect end to the most epic of weekends.
- 6pm: Airport.
- 9pm: Bed. Crash. Sick.
Since then, I've started my Ward Management run at the hospital: six weeks of Cardiology, followed by six weeks of General Surgery. And it's an intense run. I can't believe how intense it is. Physically. Mentally. Occasionally, emotionally, lol. 8am starts, 5pm, 6pm finishes. On Friday I was there from 7.3oam until 6.30pm. And the days themselves are so full-on, on your feet all day long. A preview of what life will be like when I start working in November. But I'm seeing it as a learning experience, trying to get the most out of it, kind of like a trial-run for the real thing in less than half a year's time. My priorities have definitely shifted though, I don't really have a choice. You're at the hospital ALL day, come home exhausted, make dinner/eat... then you have a couple hours to either recover, study, or some sort of physical exercise (in order of importance for me). I've been trying to keep up with Bikram Yoga (yoga in 38degrees Celsius heat!) which I started going to after my half marathon (knowing I wouldn't feasibly be able to keep up running during winter here - I go to work in the dark, come home in the dark), but it has definitely been relegated in my list of priorities, and rightly so.
What I can't get over is that, less than ten weeks time I will be DONE with med school. Yes, technically there is my elective overseas for three months, but in my mind that's three months of travelling before I start work. In less than ten weeks, I will be done with med school... done with life, here, after eight years. In less than ten weeks, it will be the official end of an era.
Wow. I mean, in theory I always knew this day would come. But, the question is, did I really believe it? And could I have ever predicted what it would have been like.
As you get older, birthdays become less of a milestone. But it is in these moments, these transitions, where the significance of "chapters" of life feel oh-so real. And the idea of having a finite length of time left of my life here... is making all of the above feel oh-so real.
Is this what they mean by growing up? Is this what they mean by becoming an adult? Is this what they mean by one door closing?
The end of May really was a blur of ACTION, all-go, no moment's pause to think, reflect... breathe. The third week of May culminated in moving from my parent's place (who have now shifted to the City of Sails) into my new flat on the Monday night; finishing up our six-week group Public Health project (of which I was team leader); rushing back and forth between my last E.D. shift and our project presentation to our clients on the Wednesday; preparing to host our national Student Association Exec meeting here.
Thursday
- 6.30am: woke up --> beautiful drive to the airport to pick up first lot of Exec members and the Conference organizing committee flying in.
- 7.30am: arrived at airport to find fog literally *just* over the runaway (unbelievable). Cue: panic. The plane circled above the airport for twenty minutes, with two failed attempts at landing; then an annoucement was made that they were running low on fuel and heading back up to Christchurch. *Horror* *Panic* Conference team needed to get to Queenstown to set up for our national Conference starting... tomorrow! At the last minute though the pilot attempted to land one more time... successfully! Thank goodness. Near Crisis #1, on the biggest weekend of our Exec's calendar. So now we were running super behind, but at least, we were running.
- 9 - 10am: Driving all around town, picking up various things and setting up for Exec meeting at St Margs College.
- 10.30am: Rest of Exec arrive, however delayed. And almost ready to start our meeting.
- 10.45 ~ 6pm: Face-to-face meeting. Non-stop. Full-on. Brain exhausted. Then half of our Exec left for Queenstown, while the other half stayed here the night. Three of them were also crashing at my flat. So the challenge of packing four adult bodies, and four suitcases/packs into my tiny three-door corolla hatchback.
- 7 - 10pm: Exec dinner at Etruscos. [My brain officially checked out as of four hours ago. lol]
- ~11.30pm: Bed. Crash.
Friday:
[Five hours sleep]
- 5.15am: wake up, pack for Conference which I had yet to do!! Wake up the others.
- 6.15am: all of us leave my place to pick up rental vans for Conference.
- 7am: meet Dunedin Conference delegates outside med school. There were two Exec members per van, one to drive, one to sit shot-gun and help. I was the latter.
- 7.45am: vans leave Dunedin --> my (awesome) van took a wee detour to the beach where I bought everyone a coffee! (Good start at getting to know one another, and breaking the ice -- TI grant put to good use.)
- 8.15 ~11.45am: loooong drive to Queenstown. But we had fun in our van. One of the girls baked these incredible chocolate cupcakes too. Mmmhmm...
- 12pm: catch up with everyone at the backpackers in Queenstown, register for Conference. It's freezing!
- 12.30pm: grab some lunch with a couple of the other Exec members.
- 1.30pm: Official opening of Conference by the mayor of Queenstown, with our 160 medical students from all over the country.
- 1.3o - 4.30pm: AMAZING RACE! It was AMAZING! We got random teams of 7 - 8, and it was a real race around Queenstown, just like the T.V. show. The Conference organizing team got the help of the tourism school in Queenstown (for free, I think?), and the race included a shot-over jet, rafting across the lake (who knew I would ever raft??), running all over town, awesome (not lame) team-building exercises, a Gondola ride, and even a bungy jump for one person in your group. AND my team came third! Out of like... twenty. There was A LOT of screaming on my part, trying to hype up my group, get them excited, encourage them. There was such an incredible buzz throughout the whole thing, and even teams who came last had just as much fun (if not more!). You really got to bond with these complete strangers in your group. It was... just incredible. I think the general consensus was that we could have all gone home now satisfied! But the screaming combined with the freezing air meant my voice was on the rocks Day 1 of Conference, lol.
- 4.30 - 7pm: recover from the physical exhaustion, shower, dinner, get ready for cocktail function.
- 7pm: marshal delegates to the cocktail function
- 7.30 - 10.30pm: cocktail function at a fancy bar in town. Lots of talking, in a very noisy environment = more strain on my already dodgy voice.
- ~11.30pm: Bed. Crash.
Saturday:
[Six hours sleep]
- 6am: wake up, shower, get ready
- 6.45am: set up breakfast for delegates
- 8am: coffee run for Exec
- 8.30am - lunch: incredible, inspiring speakers, to the point of getting teary-eyed more than on one occasion just due to pure inspiration and encouragement. "Points of failure." "Re-inventing yourself."
- Afternoon: going on a mission with one of the other Exec members, Vaish, to get bouquets for each of the Conference team. Turns out finding a florist that was open in Queenstown is not an easy feat. We ended up spending the entire afternoon walking around in the freezing cold, to end up finding a place a drive away. But eventual success. Our formal Conference dinner was up at the Skyline (a Gondola's ride up the mountain), so the two of us got an extra free ride up when approached them about hiding the flowers before dinner. It was so beautiful up there, with 360degree views of Queenstown. Vaish and I stood there for a while watching them set up for our dinner, taking in the views and the surreal atmosphere, just breathing it all in.
- And dinner was... incredible. One of the highlights of medical school. The only word that comes to mind is, EPIC. The three-course meal, the conversation, the views... the sexy, beautiful future doctors of NZ, lol. Our keynote was Simon O'Connor, co-author of Talley and O'Connor's Clinical Examination (one of the cornerstone textbooks for medical students!), and he was incredibly funny. He had this dry humour, he had all of us doubling over laughing -- a real stand-up comedian if you'd believe it! And then the dancefloor, the band, and by the end of the night, EVERYONE was dancing. One of the other Exec members and I had a wee fun competition to see how many speakers we could get up to dance, and I whupped his arse 5-2 -- I even got Simon O'Connor dancing! Every time I went over to him, he had a group of doe-eyed students around him; finally, I just politely interrupted, and asked him if he would like to dance! And he said yes! Oh man, it was pretty funny. Everyone was dancing, and having a blast. How often does that happen? Where no one feels excluded or intimidated or out-of-place. It was such a special night. We left the Skyline around midnight when the band wrapped up, and that was just the beginning... lol.
Sunday
[Two hours sleep]
- 6am: wake up, shower, get ready
- 6.45am: set up breakfast for delegates
- 7.20am: I had the esteemed job (two years in a row now!) of knocking on all the doors and waking up very, very hung-over medical students. Overcompensating with chirpy-ness and enthusiasm, with a hint of seriousness ("Good morning! It's 7.20am, and you now have forty minutes to get up, eat, look beautiful..." "I don't care if you're half asleep or hung-over, come 8.30 we want bums on seats for the first speaker!" "I rule with an iron hand!" "And to be a real b***h, I'm going to turn the light on... now.").
- 8.30 - 9.30am: clean up breakfast; room check to make sure there weren't any stragglers still sleeping. (I know, mean, but that was part of the deal of them accepting a place at Conference!)
- 10am: finalise everything with the backpackers staff
- 10.30am: head over to Conference venue, catch the last of sessions
- lunch, wrap up, then get my head around all the transport back. I was in a car with one of the other Exec members, and we got home four hours later at 6.30pm.
- 6.30pm: liaise with some of the other Exec members, get a couple of them to the airport
- 8pm: link up with the last three vans arriving, driven by the Auckland Exec boys who were staying at my place for the night
- 8.30pm: dinner with the three Auckland boys in town
- 9.30pm: Baldwin Street, as per request, lol
- 10pm: my place
- 11.30pm: Bed. Crash. Voice, gone. Throat, flaming. Nose, running.
Monday
[Five hours sleep]
- 5.30am: wake up, dress. Voice, definitely gone. Throat, burning. Nose, stuffed.
- 6am: drive one of the Auckland boys to the airport for his 7am flight back home
- 6.30am: drive back home
- 7am: Bed. Crash.
- 10am: wake up, feed the other two Auckland boys
- It was awesome hanging out with them for the day, despite being very unwell and most likely infectious. Impromptu coffee with the head of the UN bioethics committee; chat with the esteemed Paediatric surgeon and Professor of Anatomy; coffee at the beach. The perfect end to the most epic of weekends.
- 6pm: Airport.
- 9pm: Bed. Crash. Sick.
Since then, I've started my Ward Management run at the hospital: six weeks of Cardiology, followed by six weeks of General Surgery. And it's an intense run. I can't believe how intense it is. Physically. Mentally. Occasionally, emotionally, lol. 8am starts, 5pm, 6pm finishes. On Friday I was there from 7.3oam until 6.30pm. And the days themselves are so full-on, on your feet all day long. A preview of what life will be like when I start working in November. But I'm seeing it as a learning experience, trying to get the most out of it, kind of like a trial-run for the real thing in less than half a year's time. My priorities have definitely shifted though, I don't really have a choice. You're at the hospital ALL day, come home exhausted, make dinner/eat... then you have a couple hours to either recover, study, or some sort of physical exercise (in order of importance for me). I've been trying to keep up with Bikram Yoga (yoga in 38degrees Celsius heat!) which I started going to after my half marathon (knowing I wouldn't feasibly be able to keep up running during winter here - I go to work in the dark, come home in the dark), but it has definitely been relegated in my list of priorities, and rightly so.
What I can't get over is that, less than ten weeks time I will be DONE with med school. Yes, technically there is my elective overseas for three months, but in my mind that's three months of travelling before I start work. In less than ten weeks, I will be done with med school... done with life, here, after eight years. In less than ten weeks, it will be the official end of an era.
Wow. I mean, in theory I always knew this day would come. But, the question is, did I really believe it? And could I have ever predicted what it would have been like.
As you get older, birthdays become less of a milestone. But it is in these moments, these transitions, where the significance of "chapters" of life feel oh-so real. And the idea of having a finite length of time left of my life here... is making all of the above feel oh-so real.
Is this what they mean by growing up? Is this what they mean by becoming an adult? Is this what they mean by one door closing?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Run Forrest Run!
[This one's for you, Debbie! :)]
Where do I start? Half Marathon... wow. I can't believe I actually did it. Yet another one of those "life experiences" that I decide to do as nonchalantly as possible then proceeding into denial until I find myself in the thick of it. I am starting to realise this is a recurring approach to oh so many things in my life. LoL
For full appreciation of just how "Wow" my wow is, a little background is necessary, a little bit of embarrassing disclosure. I've never been a fast runner and 13year old Anna was not so fit. Studious, yes, hard-working, yes, but fit? Not really. The only "A"s I've struggled to get in school growing up were in P.E. (=physical education) and Art (lol). Back in the States my intermediate school had this weekly thing called the Fun Run, and you got graded on how fast you could run it. Not so fun, not so great at all. It was "only" three quarters of a mile (just over a kilometer) but I struggled. And because it was messing with my Grade Point Average overall, I took up the P.E. Department's offer to bump up your grade by running extra laps afterschool -- I think it was like 4x 400meter laps meant half a grade bump up for that run. They offered, but most students couldn't be bothered to take them up on it... Most. So there was 13year old Anna running laps by herself afterschool with one of the P.E. teachers supervising, watching from the bleachers.
Embarrassing disclosure... or not? I know that in life success isn't a matter of luck or natural ability but, rather, hard work and in a sense, how much you want it. One of the most valuable lessons I learnt from watching my parents' approach to life. And running laps by myself after school to bump up a P.E. grade back in seventh grade? Yeah... lol.
I have to admit, I wasn't thinking about this kind of stuff last weekend as I flew up to Blenheim for my half marathon. It was more trying to keep my mind settled, not to doubt myself or my ability to complete the run. I liked going for short morning runs during high school, but struggled to keep it up once I started med. Then, a couple years ago a lady at my gym told me it was essential to invest in a pair of proper running shoes and encouraged me to get back into outdoor off-road running. And I've been hooked ever since. Not much is certain in life, but one thing that is?: going for a run is just about the only thing which is so hard to get yourself to do but once you do, you never -- and I mean NEVER -- regret doing.
Two years later I signed up for my first half marathon. I wanted to wait until this final year of med school when I thought I would be able to invest the time and effort without it becoming a stressor in my life. I also signed up with a good friend of mine, Jade, who had also been getting more into running at the time. We decided to do the one up in Blenheim (beautiful wine country of NZ) because that way we could make a holiday out of it, take a long weekend from our respective full time jobs.
Thirteen weeks ago we started our "training," which isn't nearly as intense as it sounds. We both tried to go for at least two to three runs (anywhere between half an hour to an hour) during the week, and then one hefty run together in the weekend. We increasingly built up our capacity over those weeks (cardio fitness is so easy to build up... but so easy to lose again!). By the week of the half marathon I had three 16km runs under my belt and was feeling pretty confident I could do 21.5kms on the day... Hopefully. LoL
Another day off after an ED shift last night, back from 6.30am Bikram yoga (more on that later), showered, coffee-ed up, and with David Gray in the background, I finally have a chance to reflect on my most recent adventure.
Where do I start? Half Marathon... wow. I can't believe I actually did it. Yet another one of those "life experiences" that I decide to do as nonchalantly as possible then proceeding into denial until I find myself in the thick of it. I am starting to realise this is a recurring approach to oh so many things in my life. LoL
For full appreciation of just how "Wow" my wow is, a little background is necessary, a little bit of embarrassing disclosure. I've never been a fast runner and 13year old Anna was not so fit. Studious, yes, hard-working, yes, but fit? Not really. The only "A"s I've struggled to get in school growing up were in P.E. (=physical education) and Art (lol). Back in the States my intermediate school had this weekly thing called the Fun Run, and you got graded on how fast you could run it. Not so fun, not so great at all. It was "only" three quarters of a mile (just over a kilometer) but I struggled. And because it was messing with my Grade Point Average overall, I took up the P.E. Department's offer to bump up your grade by running extra laps afterschool -- I think it was like 4x 400meter laps meant half a grade bump up for that run. They offered, but most students couldn't be bothered to take them up on it... Most. So there was 13year old Anna running laps by herself afterschool with one of the P.E. teachers supervising, watching from the bleachers.
Embarrassing disclosure... or not? I know that in life success isn't a matter of luck or natural ability but, rather, hard work and in a sense, how much you want it. One of the most valuable lessons I learnt from watching my parents' approach to life. And running laps by myself after school to bump up a P.E. grade back in seventh grade? Yeah... lol.
I have to admit, I wasn't thinking about this kind of stuff last weekend as I flew up to Blenheim for my half marathon. It was more trying to keep my mind settled, not to doubt myself or my ability to complete the run. I liked going for short morning runs during high school, but struggled to keep it up once I started med. Then, a couple years ago a lady at my gym told me it was essential to invest in a pair of proper running shoes and encouraged me to get back into outdoor off-road running. And I've been hooked ever since. Not much is certain in life, but one thing that is?: going for a run is just about the only thing which is so hard to get yourself to do but once you do, you never -- and I mean NEVER -- regret doing.
Two years later I signed up for my first half marathon. I wanted to wait until this final year of med school when I thought I would be able to invest the time and effort without it becoming a stressor in my life. I also signed up with a good friend of mine, Jade, who had also been getting more into running at the time. We decided to do the one up in Blenheim (beautiful wine country of NZ) because that way we could make a holiday out of it, take a long weekend from our respective full time jobs.
Thirteen weeks ago we started our "training," which isn't nearly as intense as it sounds. We both tried to go for at least two to three runs (anywhere between half an hour to an hour) during the week, and then one hefty run together in the weekend. We increasingly built up our capacity over those weeks (cardio fitness is so easy to build up... but so easy to lose again!). By the week of the half marathon I had three 16km runs under my belt and was feeling pretty confident I could do 21.5kms on the day... Hopefully. LoL
[As you read this commentary, follow my photo journey here]
Then before we knew it Friday rolled around and we were off! We had a 7am flight on Friday to Christchurch with a five hour wait so my friend Annemarie came to meet us at the airport. We went out to breakfast in the city and then for a bit of shopping which was great fun. (On a sidenote, bought two dresses, one of which is now my graduation dress, yay!) Then, flight to Blenheim on the smallest plane I've ever been on! Two rows of ten seats, a pilot who doubled as the flight attendant, an open cockpit, and no overhead compartments revealing the daunting truth at hand which was that we were all sitting in what was literally a metal tube. Now that's faith.
The flight was beautiful and not too turbulent (not nearly as bad as a flight to Wellington!), and we landed in Blenheim mid-afternoon. Jade and I went straight to our hotel in town, had a bit of a rest (we had both had a very busy week), then ventured into town to register and pick up our race packs. It didn't take us long as Blenheim is very, very small (cue: *shudder* Mr Universe, please don't make me stay here... please?? lol). We had an early dinner at a Turkish place, then headed back to our hotel for a spa and sauna followed by an early night.
We woke up the next day at 7am to a beautiful glowing red sunrise -- race day. Wow. Then, here was my mistake: normally when I go for a run I don't usually eat beforehand because I find it gives me a really bad stitch. My energy levels are generally fine up to an hour and a half runs, so I tend to eat afterwards. But, for the 16km runs I did struggle a bit near the end, and I had noticed I have less power than Jade (who has very healthy, regular eating habits). So we chatted about it the day before and I decided I would have breakfast the day of the race: Weetbix, a banana, cup of coffee, plenty of water. And I felt good. We got changed, grabbed our gear, and by 8am we headed for the bus across the street from our hotel that would take us to the Vineyard -- race start and finish.
The weather was perfect. I still can't believe how perfect it was. I had been checking the updates for Blenheim daily in the week preceding our race, and was worried when there was stormy rain forecast. On the day however it was cloudy, cool... perfect.
And the vineyard was beautiful. A canvas of golden yellow vines with brushstrokes of red and green, a true reflection of the wonders of autumn.
We arrived to find hundreds of people there already. They had 1750 people signed up in total, about a third in the run, hybrid (run and walk) and walk categories respectively. The runners started first at 9am. We had our briefing behind the Start Line at 8.50am, standing with hundreds of other people, adrenaline pumping, mind settling, focussing, harnessing, preparing. And then, then, I found myself moving forward with the herd of runners, into the vines, into the unknown.
That initial race start was an incredible experience for the senses. The hundreds of footsteps quickly coalesced into a pitter-patter of shoes on concrete that sounded like juicy raindrops slapping the roof during a storm. Then gradually as runners began to separate out according to speed and strength, it was like this enchanted rhythm fell over the course. Like the chugging of a train or the buzz of a refridgerator.
Then, reality dawned. I had a stitch. Less than three kms into the run I had the worst stitch I have ever experienced. Damn that breakfast and my stupidity for doing something my body wasn't used to on the day of a race. And I really couldn't shake it. Jade was enjoying herself so much, chatting away, enjoying the views, but all I could think about was focussing on my breathing trying to shake this stitch. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The first half of a run is always the hardest mentally (because once you're past the halfway point, you're on your way home) and kms 8 - 10 was the second hardest part of the run for me. Time became a bit of a blur and I found myself just putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Then, when I thought I was reaching Desperation Point, we came out from one of the vineyards to cross the road to be met with this huge Stoneleigh sign -- Stoneleigh, my favourite Riesling! A surprising morale booster! That, in combination with the drink-station marking 11kms and the fact that I finally managed to shake my stitch(!), got me back to a much better place mentally. The next five kms were actually really enjoyable -- my favourite part of the race. I got to look around, take in the magnificent views -- to revel in the awesomeness of where I was and what I was doing. To wonder and revel.
The 16km mark came and went, and had now reached the great Unknown. Neither Jade or I had ever been past this point, and we both knew this would be the hardest, mentally and physically. And I struggled. Unbeknownst to me, I was most likely dangerously dehydrated at this point, and I was starting to realise I had very little reserve left. Each km felt like an eternity's effort, and by the 19km mark my legs felt like 10kg bags of brick or lead. Lifting a leg up off the ground was a physical and mental effort and I just kept telling myself, "Anna, don't stop. Remember, your time doesn't matter, it's about running the whole thing. That's the goal you and Jade set. To run. Just keep running. It'll end soon. One foot in front of the other." It was tough. Not a pleasant experience at all. I learnt a lot about my (at times, very unhealthy) coping mechanisms. I noticed I get super internalised, and in the midst of serious suffering all I want to do is suffer in silence, alone. Jade's encouragement, help, even her mere presence amidst my suffering got to me in a way that scared me. It scared me how negative my thoughts became, and just how truly internalised I got; a sense that I was losing my grip on the essence of who I was, consumed by negativity and... even anger? And all I wanted to do was push away those who cared about me. It got me thinking about life. Running is an incredible metaphor for life, and I hope if I'm ever faced with that kind of suffering in life, I'll recognise any similar negative, scary responses in myself. Lesson #2.
I know for a fact Jade could have cut probably fifteen minutes off her race time if it hadn't been for me. Realising this, I told her sometime around this point that she should go ahead without me, that I'd be right behind her. But being the lovely person and great friend she is, she politely refused, assuring me she'd rather finish together, just as we started.
Finally... eventually... somehow, we turned a corner to be greeted by a crowd of smiling strangers, clapping and encouraging us in that final 200metres, the Finish Line in view. And with that there was a sudden electrifying surge of energy and power and we both sprinted to the end. It was over. Surreal. Exhausting. An adventure from beginning to end. One of those true Life Experiences.
But the story doesn't end there. We relaxed for a while, collected our prize bottle of wine (awarded to each participant) and waited for Jade's mum to finish then headed back to town. I took a quick shower, changed, and the three of us went to lunch. Strangely enough, after the race I wasn't feeling particularly hungry but as we stood in line at the Cafe I was suddenly consumed by a wave of hunger. Burger and fries it is! We sat down at our table and chatted away for a while. Then our food came. My plate of burger and fries sat in front of me, but I suddenly didn't feel hungry. Jade's mum was asking me about my time living in the States, and I was trying to focus on the conversation but, as Jade and her mum started chowing down on their lunch, all I could do was look down at my food and feel... not quite right. I tried to take a bite, then set it down again, all the while trying to focus on the conversation. I felt very, very... nauseous... and then (a feeling I've become much too accustomed to during my Surgical run) I felt hot and cold all over and in an instant was covered in sweat. Shaking and shivering, I didn't know why it was happening but, if six years of med school has taught me anything, I knew I had to lie down and quick. Serendipitously, there was a leather couch a few steps away. Abruptly I stopped whatever conversation I was having with Jade's mum, apologised, said I wasn't feeling so great and that I needed to lie down right now. I knew I was *this* close to collapsing.
On retrospect, I have no doubt I was utterly dehydrated. Despite having one full water bottle and then some after the race, before and during I must have only had like 500mls at most. And, knowing me, I sweat. A lot. It took me the rest of the afternoon and like three water bottles later to finally go to the bathroom -- a sign that I really was dehydrated, my kidneys trying compensating -- you can't drink like five water bottles of water and struggle to pee unless there's something truly wrong. Urine Output is key! In life!! On the hospital ward!! After a 21.5km run!!! Lesson #3. LoL. I spent the afternoon in bed hydrating while Jade and her mum went for a drive. A few hours, fluids, sleep and a hot shower later, I felt like a new person and up for dinner out.
Man, did I have an incredible sleep that night.
The next day we packed, checked out of our hotel and went for a drive through the vineyards. We went to a winery for some coffee, and wondered around to enjoy more of the views. A noon flight back to Christchurch followed by lunch at the Mex and shopping, then, we were flying home.
21.5kms, 2hrs and 2minutes, three days in Blenheim... a lifetime in the making. Truly, one for the history books.
But I have to say, me and running are going on a break for a while. LoL. I love you, but I think I need some space. Just a little. Just for a little while. :)
Fin.
The flight was beautiful and not too turbulent (not nearly as bad as a flight to Wellington!), and we landed in Blenheim mid-afternoon. Jade and I went straight to our hotel in town, had a bit of a rest (we had both had a very busy week), then ventured into town to register and pick up our race packs. It didn't take us long as Blenheim is very, very small (cue: *shudder* Mr Universe, please don't make me stay here... please?? lol). We had an early dinner at a Turkish place, then headed back to our hotel for a spa and sauna followed by an early night.
We woke up the next day at 7am to a beautiful glowing red sunrise -- race day. Wow. Then, here was my mistake: normally when I go for a run I don't usually eat beforehand because I find it gives me a really bad stitch. My energy levels are generally fine up to an hour and a half runs, so I tend to eat afterwards. But, for the 16km runs I did struggle a bit near the end, and I had noticed I have less power than Jade (who has very healthy, regular eating habits). So we chatted about it the day before and I decided I would have breakfast the day of the race: Weetbix, a banana, cup of coffee, plenty of water. And I felt good. We got changed, grabbed our gear, and by 8am we headed for the bus across the street from our hotel that would take us to the Vineyard -- race start and finish.
The weather was perfect. I still can't believe how perfect it was. I had been checking the updates for Blenheim daily in the week preceding our race, and was worried when there was stormy rain forecast. On the day however it was cloudy, cool... perfect.
And the vineyard was beautiful. A canvas of golden yellow vines with brushstrokes of red and green, a true reflection of the wonders of autumn.
We arrived to find hundreds of people there already. They had 1750 people signed up in total, about a third in the run, hybrid (run and walk) and walk categories respectively. The runners started first at 9am. We had our briefing behind the Start Line at 8.50am, standing with hundreds of other people, adrenaline pumping, mind settling, focussing, harnessing, preparing. And then, then, I found myself moving forward with the herd of runners, into the vines, into the unknown.
That initial race start was an incredible experience for the senses. The hundreds of footsteps quickly coalesced into a pitter-patter of shoes on concrete that sounded like juicy raindrops slapping the roof during a storm. Then gradually as runners began to separate out according to speed and strength, it was like this enchanted rhythm fell over the course. Like the chugging of a train or the buzz of a refridgerator.
Then, reality dawned. I had a stitch. Less than three kms into the run I had the worst stitch I have ever experienced. Damn that breakfast and my stupidity for doing something my body wasn't used to on the day of a race. And I really couldn't shake it. Jade was enjoying herself so much, chatting away, enjoying the views, but all I could think about was focussing on my breathing trying to shake this stitch. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The first half of a run is always the hardest mentally (because once you're past the halfway point, you're on your way home) and kms 8 - 10 was the second hardest part of the run for me. Time became a bit of a blur and I found myself just putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Then, when I thought I was reaching Desperation Point, we came out from one of the vineyards to cross the road to be met with this huge Stoneleigh sign -- Stoneleigh, my favourite Riesling! A surprising morale booster! That, in combination with the drink-station marking 11kms and the fact that I finally managed to shake my stitch(!), got me back to a much better place mentally. The next five kms were actually really enjoyable -- my favourite part of the race. I got to look around, take in the magnificent views -- to revel in the awesomeness of where I was and what I was doing. To wonder and revel.
The 16km mark came and went, and had now reached the great Unknown. Neither Jade or I had ever been past this point, and we both knew this would be the hardest, mentally and physically. And I struggled. Unbeknownst to me, I was most likely dangerously dehydrated at this point, and I was starting to realise I had very little reserve left. Each km felt like an eternity's effort, and by the 19km mark my legs felt like 10kg bags of brick or lead. Lifting a leg up off the ground was a physical and mental effort and I just kept telling myself, "Anna, don't stop. Remember, your time doesn't matter, it's about running the whole thing. That's the goal you and Jade set. To run. Just keep running. It'll end soon. One foot in front of the other." It was tough. Not a pleasant experience at all. I learnt a lot about my (at times, very unhealthy) coping mechanisms. I noticed I get super internalised, and in the midst of serious suffering all I want to do is suffer in silence, alone. Jade's encouragement, help, even her mere presence amidst my suffering got to me in a way that scared me. It scared me how negative my thoughts became, and just how truly internalised I got; a sense that I was losing my grip on the essence of who I was, consumed by negativity and... even anger? And all I wanted to do was push away those who cared about me. It got me thinking about life. Running is an incredible metaphor for life, and I hope if I'm ever faced with that kind of suffering in life, I'll recognise any similar negative, scary responses in myself. Lesson #2.
I know for a fact Jade could have cut probably fifteen minutes off her race time if it hadn't been for me. Realising this, I told her sometime around this point that she should go ahead without me, that I'd be right behind her. But being the lovely person and great friend she is, she politely refused, assuring me she'd rather finish together, just as we started.
Finally... eventually... somehow, we turned a corner to be greeted by a crowd of smiling strangers, clapping and encouraging us in that final 200metres, the Finish Line in view. And with that there was a sudden electrifying surge of energy and power and we both sprinted to the end. It was over. Surreal. Exhausting. An adventure from beginning to end. One of those true Life Experiences.
But the story doesn't end there. We relaxed for a while, collected our prize bottle of wine (awarded to each participant) and waited for Jade's mum to finish then headed back to town. I took a quick shower, changed, and the three of us went to lunch. Strangely enough, after the race I wasn't feeling particularly hungry but as we stood in line at the Cafe I was suddenly consumed by a wave of hunger. Burger and fries it is! We sat down at our table and chatted away for a while. Then our food came. My plate of burger and fries sat in front of me, but I suddenly didn't feel hungry. Jade's mum was asking me about my time living in the States, and I was trying to focus on the conversation but, as Jade and her mum started chowing down on their lunch, all I could do was look down at my food and feel... not quite right. I tried to take a bite, then set it down again, all the while trying to focus on the conversation. I felt very, very... nauseous... and then (a feeling I've become much too accustomed to during my Surgical run) I felt hot and cold all over and in an instant was covered in sweat. Shaking and shivering, I didn't know why it was happening but, if six years of med school has taught me anything, I knew I had to lie down and quick. Serendipitously, there was a leather couch a few steps away. Abruptly I stopped whatever conversation I was having with Jade's mum, apologised, said I wasn't feeling so great and that I needed to lie down right now. I knew I was *this* close to collapsing.
On retrospect, I have no doubt I was utterly dehydrated. Despite having one full water bottle and then some after the race, before and during I must have only had like 500mls at most. And, knowing me, I sweat. A lot. It took me the rest of the afternoon and like three water bottles later to finally go to the bathroom -- a sign that I really was dehydrated, my kidneys trying compensating -- you can't drink like five water bottles of water and struggle to pee unless there's something truly wrong. Urine Output is key! In life!! On the hospital ward!! After a 21.5km run!!! Lesson #3. LoL. I spent the afternoon in bed hydrating while Jade and her mum went for a drive. A few hours, fluids, sleep and a hot shower later, I felt like a new person and up for dinner out.
Man, did I have an incredible sleep that night.
The next day we packed, checked out of our hotel and went for a drive through the vineyards. We went to a winery for some coffee, and wondered around to enjoy more of the views. A noon flight back to Christchurch followed by lunch at the Mex and shopping, then, we were flying home.
21.5kms, 2hrs and 2minutes, three days in Blenheim... a lifetime in the making. Truly, one for the history books.
But I have to say, me and running are going on a break for a while. LoL. I love you, but I think I need some space. Just a little. Just for a little while. :)
Fin.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
cold, cold... and more cold
I was watching an episode of Bones last night, trying to relax a little before my 7pm - midnight ED shift, and cracked up laughing when a psychiatrist rushed to administer IM tranquiliser to a psychotic patient -- and did so into the antecubital fossa, and then, chucked the empty syringe away. No, I don't mean that he threw it into a sharps disposal unit or even into a box or tray of some sort; he just literally threw it across the floor to who knows where/what he was aiming for? Awesome. You'd think they'd have a consultant of some sort for these types of episodes but, then again, look at even medical dramas like Greys.
On another note, half marathon coming up on Saturday which I'm really excited for. I think my "training" peaked a couple weeks ago -- with the sudden descent of horrible weather here, rain and freezing cold temps, I've been having such a difficult time getting myself to go for a run at all let alone hefty ones in pre-race lead up. Which, in some ways is a little worrisome, but in another light, might be a good thing. When I signed up to do this with my friend at the end of last year I told myself I wasn't going to let it become a stressor in my life -- I would do what I can and enjoy it! Running is leisure at the end of the day. So, pish-posh, what'll be will be. I had a dream about the half marathon last night which must mean my subconscious is registering it on some level! I'm actually getting really excited because (a.) it's gonna be so much fun, and a lovely wee holiday up north; and (b) I can't wait till it's over and I can stop factoring in "training" -- it's gotten so cold, I think I might have to find something to replace the running over the winter as I really can't see how I'd battle this cold!
Exciting times, exciting times! Watch this space. :)
On another note, half marathon coming up on Saturday which I'm really excited for. I think my "training" peaked a couple weeks ago -- with the sudden descent of horrible weather here, rain and freezing cold temps, I've been having such a difficult time getting myself to go for a run at all let alone hefty ones in pre-race lead up. Which, in some ways is a little worrisome, but in another light, might be a good thing. When I signed up to do this with my friend at the end of last year I told myself I wasn't going to let it become a stressor in my life -- I would do what I can and enjoy it! Running is leisure at the end of the day. So, pish-posh, what'll be will be. I had a dream about the half marathon last night which must mean my subconscious is registering it on some level! I'm actually getting really excited because (a.) it's gonna be so much fun, and a lovely wee holiday up north; and (b) I can't wait till it's over and I can stop factoring in "training" -- it's gotten so cold, I think I might have to find something to replace the running over the winter as I really can't see how I'd battle this cold!
Exciting times, exciting times! Watch this space. :)
Monday, May 3, 2010
NZ Music Month 2010
I have to admit I'm really excited for NZ Music Month this year. I feel like NZ music has come a long way in the past few years. Even I -- a mostly ignorant appreciator of music -- have noticed a difference in the calibre of our home-grown artists, and I gotta say, it makes me proud to be a Kiwi. :)
So support NZ Music Month 2010! (T-shirts available from Hallensteins)
And, on that note, if you buy NZ music in Christchurch this month you get a copy of ChartDisc Volume 3 for free! A compilation of great local artists, featuring music from my very good friend Mmdelai -- check her out on myspace at http://www.myspace.com/mmdelai
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)