6pm curfew???

The last few days, I have to admit, have been kind of a blur due to excessive West Wing watching and now that it's over (for now) I feel a little... lost? I've been so wrapped up in all that is West Wing that when I finally get out of it I have to steady myself a bit. But that's not just with West Wing but any TV series DVD I get hooked on.

Anyways, it's good it's over because I seriously have a lot to do in this last week of break -- I can't afford to let it go to waste, no matter how much I want to. The downsides of being a "responsible" student.

This past Thursday Kirsty and I had a pre-birthday celebration for my turning 20 next week. A little early to some, but it has kind of become a family tradition -- it's fun that way! She took me out shopping for the day, we went out to lunch and then later that night to The Royal New Zealand Ballet's "Swan Lake" which was, no kidding, the best ballet I've ever been to. The leads were amazing, and the rest of the company, especially the other swans, were brilliant. It's funny how the only reason I've been to so many ballets is because of Kirsty's life-long love for it, but now it seems I'm getting hooked myself. The last two acts in particular gave me chills as everything came together -- the music, the lighting, the costumes, the dancing... brilliant.

Although... why do people have to do things at night?? I've always been a morning person, which implies I'm not so much of a night owl so it's always hard to fully enjoy shows or movies or dinners late at night. During Act II of the ballet, there was a period where I had to struggle to keep my mind alert (it was my threshold -- the point when it's the hardest, and then after I get past it, I'm wide awake for the rest of the night) and last night at church the same thing happened. I was joking with Kirsty that my problem would be solved if "they" impose a curfew on the city/country. Hahaha... not possible, I know, but not impossible?


To-do this week:

Movies to watch: Starter for 10, Ocean's 13 (maybe), Transformers, Blades of Glory... and to watch again: Becoming Jane, Lives of Others.

Things to study: embryology, organogenesis, reproductive anatomy

Licenses to get: driver's learners license

Cleaning to do: room

Books to read: 1984, Becoming A Doctor (the latter which I have to review for NZMSJ)

twenty

Having moved around quite a lot growing up, and managing to keep in touch with the people of my past, it's weird watching them change from afar. It's different from growing up together. When you move away, those people forever remain in your mind as they were when you leave and so, in my case, as 15yr olds. It's crazy what five years can do. It's crazy how much people can change -- physically and personally.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if my family had stayed in Seattle. And I went to high school like my friends, then college... I wonder if my life would have been more... movie-like. Much like theirs seem from half a world away. Don't get me wrong -- I'm glad we moved back to NZ and I wouldn't want it any other way; the only reason I'd go back to America would be to study more. But it doesn't stop me wondering every once in a while about the version of myself in that parallel universe. I'd be different, that's for sure.


I had such a fun day today, catching up with a friend of mine from university. We've both been so busy this semester and it was nice just hanging out. We watched Pirates 3 which was waaaay to long, but entertaining I guess. We went out for lunch in town and then ended up getting a coffee at the Botanical Gardens. Good conversation. Good fun.

It's my birthday in a couple weeks and I love that I have a friend who was born on the exact same day and year as me. What are the odds, huh? But it's a pretty cool thing. We were planning on organizing something or other (or, at least I was) but I think we're both too lazy. Talk is cheap, ay? LoL. I'm meeting up with him for lunch tomorrow so I guess we'll see. Regardless, it's gonna be a good birthday this year. Twenty. Hahaha... who would've thought.

literary promiscuity

As we passed the bookstore on our drive into town this morning, I had a reflex thought to spend some quality time there and buy something to read -- it's my holiday after all. However, like all reflexes, it passed very quickly as I realized I had literally half a bookshelf of unfinished novels. Just this weekend I started two very good books which I have every intention of finishing... eventually.

When/where/how did I develop such a habit which, upon first examination, can appear so utterly horrendous? Going from book to book, actually finishing maybe every fifth book (at best). But I think the worst part of it all is, I've come to terms with this promiscuous Anna. My justification? What a librarian once told me -- that it was the reader's prerogative to put down a book. I guess I really took this to heart. [It's weird cos when it comes to movies, I've never stopped watching one mid-way through with the exception of Little Nicky which was, without a doubt, one of the worst movies ever made.]

One of the books I started reading this weekend - and will finish, I promise! - was Orwell's 1984. It's six years overdue, actually, since I've been meaning to read it since the 8th grade. And what I've read so far has been fantastic.


It's been so cold the past few days, snowing like crazing, which is a nice change. In the five years I've been in Dunedin I've never seen it like this before. It's absolutely lovely! If only it coincided with Christmas. Regardless we have been playing Christmas carols all weekend with the fire roaring in the background. All we need is some hot apple cider. Yum!

in the stillness

What an interesting week it's been. Fun, to say the least. It was nice to just get away from Dunedin for a while, even if it was a "working" holiday. They sure did keep us busy though. Surprisingly enough, I actually did get a lot out of the whole trip -- a real insight into rural health, and consequently, a real admiration for the people of Te Anau. What an amazing town, and so beautiful and quiet. And though I could never be a rural GP (not because it's rural, but because I don't think I could ever do GP work, period) the whole experience served as a reminder that I love... politics. It really has a way of getting me riled up -- that frustration inherent in bureaucracy, injustice, and The Man. I loved that by the end of the week I was starting to get passionate about their cause.

I think I could get passionate about any cause, as long as it was the cause of the underdog -- the forgotten people. And I love the idea of kicking it to The Man. The very reason why I didn't get into international law is probably gonna be the very reason why I'll get into international health policy. I keep coming back to it. It must be for a reason.

We had a lot of interesting discussions throughout the week, some of which became very political. I loved it. I voted on dividing NZ into two countries (North and South), and then having a system of government based on federal and "state" laws. Or, maybe even Shane's very Brave New World concept based on incorruptible dictators, happiness and drugs -- need I say more?


I loved the cold, going for runs along the perfect lake, being surrounded by national parks, and the absolute quiet.

I miss it already...

demystification and catch-22s

Demystification: to rid of mystery or obscurity, to clarify.

Growing up is all about demystification; ignorance is bliss. And in all honesty, I'd rather not know. Peter Pan really knew what he was talking about.

I'm glad my break is finally here. No doubt, I could do with a few weeks away from the med school and my class. Just to clear my head and take a step back.

Went to a great Thai restaurant today - it was absolutely delicious. Will definitely have to go back sometime soon. You what else is great? West Wing. And great oratory. And witty, intelligent, stimulating TV shows featuring great oratory. Oh -- and Al Gore. He should definitely run for President (not that I have a say since, you know, I'm not American) -- his reasons why he won't is the very reason why he should! I miss American politics...

On another note, life is full of Catch-22s. Why???

I'm having issues... the upside of having issues is that it drives me to immerse myself in studying and go for long runs. Coping mechanism? Probably. Healthy? Depends on your definition, I guess.

I've been in a weird place for the past month or so. I've been not myself lately. Hopefully it'll pass.

Oh -- and that episode on Friends where Rachel (or was it Monica/Chandler?) mistakenly watches a video of someone giving birth and it totally freaks her out? I can say, without a doubt, her freak-out was T-O-T-A-L-L-Y justified!!! No woman should have to know and, worse(?), SEE what's involved. Like I said, ignorance is bliss. And knowledge is TRAUMATIC. At least, in this case it is.

p/s - I miss South America. Or, more specifically, I miss the food we ate while in South America... mhmm... I salivate just thinking about it.

background music and all

It's really amazing just how powerful one glance can be; how profoundly it can change your whole mood and outlook, and subsequently your entire day. It was one of those things today where, once I started thinking about it I started to notice it more and more:

There are those glances, or, more specifically, one glance from one person that you wish you could experience in slow motion... and then rewind and watch over and over again like a scene from a movie, background music and all. Then there's the glance from the random chick walking past you as your headphones get caught on the door-handle, and the stupidity and embarrassment you'd feel if no one saw you is ten times greater because the look she gave you made you feel like that awkward 13-year old again; the glance from a certain person you wish you didn't notice, and, to some degree, ignore; the glance from the guy you always run into and think you must know from somewhere but just can't put your finger on; the surprisingly nice glance you exchange with a stranger in passing on the street.

I'm still thinking about that first glance and filing it away in the "slow motion glance" box inside my head.


My parents are thinking of building a house (again!) and the saddest thing about it all is that, according to them, you're no longer allowed to have open fires or wood-burners in new homes. I'm all for decreasing greenhouse gas emissions and protecting our environment (ever since I read Silent Spring in 8th grade) but heaters, heat pumps and pseudo gas "open fires" just aren't the same.

Kirsty and I are planning on going to the UK for a few weeks at the end of the year to see the sights and visit friends, with maybe a stopover in New York to see our cousin and his wife. It's exciting, but at the same time daunting thinking of how much it's gonna cost. A part of me is reluctant (the idea of my savings being depleted so quickly), but the other part of me is thinking if I'm gonna do this why not dive head-first and do the North America trip I've been wanting to do since I left Seattle five years ago? I've got some time to think about it, I guess.

from A to B

I realised today, after four hours of organogenesis lectures, that one of the reasons why I've been having a semi-hard time thinking about my life as a med student (and doctor) is that I miss, for lack of a better phrase, thinking for myself in that very liberal arts/humanities kind of way. I guess what makes it worse is having the experience of studying for the summer at Harvard and how much I loved my two classes -- the lectures, the discussions, the reading, the essays... without a doubt, the zenith of my academic career thus far. I miss the stimulation, forming my own opinions, reflecting on human actions/inaction, past and present. So much of science and medicine is going from point A to B: not knowing something to knowing and understanding that something. Period.

Maybe I'm just dwelling on the past. I've always tried to look ahead and to never regret... and I don't. But that doesn't erase the fact that so much of what I used to love and, I'm beginning to realise, still do love, is gone. And I guess I just miss it.

When I was deciding between medicine and history/law, the bottom line was that I thought I could help people more directly as a doctor -- a general appreciation, but at the same time frustration at the complexities of international relations, along with a desire for the power to create more immediate change. The bottom line was I thought I could... be more... useful? But maybe that's not necessarily the only way... I dunno... I dunno...


Boxing always seems to help. Sweating out my stress -- fun. :)