Blog resurrected...!

Location: Perth, Australia

2030hrs local time

Dear friend, 

Eight years ago I went on my first overseas adventure, aged sixteen. With nothing to lose and without any idea of what to expect I left New Zealand for two months in Boston, a pivotal experience that culminated in my making the decision to become a doctor. 

Two years ago I went on my first adventure to Africa, aged 22. With nothing to lose and without any idea of what to expect I left New Zealand for three months in The Gambia, a surreal adventure that helped me overcome my fear of insects, dirt and heat, but more significantly, grew me into the woman I am today.

Today I find myself heading back to the warm embrace of Mama Afrika, aged 24. This time however I leave with a sense of having too much to lose. For the first time in my life I feel scared of losing what I am leaving behind. Is it a sign that I've lost my sense of adventure? Is it a symptom of aging, of becoming an adult, with ties and roots and a home and someone I love? Or, as I fear most, is it the result of being so far from God for so long?

I've really struggled in my walk with Christ since moving to Auckland a year and a half ago. The experience of transitioning into doctor-hood was hard for me, my "natural" reserve of discipline just enough to see me through work and little else. Yet even with first year of work behind me and life being pretty wonderful this second year out, I have struggled to reconnect with God. I know my heart has walked further and further away, excuse after excuse, into a real spiritual desert. And I have struggled to find my way back.

In spite of all that, beyond understanding, God has continued to bless me abundantly. I have seen success in my job, things continue to fall into place for my eventual application for the Plastic Surgery training program (=Residency) and, most significantly, I have met an incredible guy who is just right for me, a literal answer to prayer. 

Every good story starts with setting the scene, and this is where I find myself as I leave for two months in Zambia -- a deep-seated feeling of being lost, while life around me continues to steam full-power ahead. 

For the first time in my life I do not underestimate the dangers fraught in volunteering overseas and, for the first time in my life, I think I am scared. This weekend however was a reminder of the many incredible, loving, strong Christ-followers and co-journeyers I have been blessed with in this life. It got me thinking of St Augustine's Confessions, in which he acknowledged that if it hadn't been for the prayers and the Faith of his grandmother and mother during his (wayward) young adulthood, he would not be where he was. 

I have no idea what God has in store for me these next two months, but please keep me in your thoughts and prayers -- for me to have a peace in God's beautiful promise made in Jeremiah, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future."

'Till next time,

Always,

-A