opportunity cost

Dear friend,

Since my last post Friday week ago, I have been feeling much much better. I spent that Friday and Saturday in bed watching the final season of 24 (loved it!) and kept pretty much nil by mouth. The antibiotics without a doubt made all the difference.

By Sunday I was feeling about 70% back to my usual self so agreed to head out with some of the others to brunch (my first meal in a few days) followed by the monkey park in Senegambia (a town about fifteen minutes drive away). We had brunch at this boutique hotel nearby and it was delicious -- for $NZD18 there was unlimited coffee (my first coffee in three weeks!), juice, fresh fruit, followed by 'pancakes' (= crepes), eggs, bacon, bread, etc. It was a beautiful first meal to come back to. Then we decided to walk to Senegambia along the beach instead of taking a taxi. It turned out to be a beautiful day so the walk was pretty glorious. Not surprisingly we got approached by a few bumpsters (= locals who try to chat you up and become 'friends' so they can offer you any sort of 'help' in return for money), but were able to shake them off with relative ease. The walk took us about an hour and then we arrived at Bijilo Forest Park, aka the monkey park. Again, not so much a 'park' as we know it, but a big forest with monkeys all over the show, no fences, no nothing. We paid our $NZD2 admission fee and headed in. You can opt to pay for a guide but we decided just to roam around without one. Their 'don't-feed-the-monkeys' rule is not enforced at all, so a couple of the other students bought a bag of peanuts with them -- and they weren't the only ones (most tourists seem to, despite the known rule). And there were monkeys EVERYWHERE.

I'm not much of a fan of animals in general, and potential rabies-carrying African monkeys? No thank you. (Especially after hearing that the one shot of post-rabies exposure immunoglobulin treatment in The Gambia was recently used for a boy who actually got rabies!) Hence, absolutely no desire to go near a monkey at all. The others, however, loved it. As soon as the monkeys saw/heard/smelt(?) the peanuts they were everywhere, jumping on people's shoulders, reaching up to their hands, and even, sneakily enough, reaching into people's pockets! Quite smart really. Every once in a while two monkeys would suddenly break out into a fight! Pretty vicious, really. I stayed a few metres away from the action most of the time, lol, but I did enjoy the cute little baby monkeys strategically held onto by the mama monkeys. I even saw some breastfeeding monkeys! That was pretty funny, and pretty darn cute.

The HUGE downside of the day? (Because nothing comes easy here, I am beginning to realise!) SIXTEEN mosquito bites by the time I got home. SIXTEEN. And this was AFTER two coats of 80% DEET insect repellent. New low, man, new low. Nine on my feet alone: by the evening I had lost the definition of my right ankle, completely swollen up and red from the bites. It. Was. Horrible. Three on my neck, three on my elbows, and one on the knuckle of my right index finger (the most dreadful place one can get an itchy bite, believe you me). My blood must be super sweet goodness because the mosquitoes just can't seem to get enough.

Venturing out from under my mosquito net, venturing outside the compound is, I know, a must because I can't (and won't) spend my time here cooped up inside. BUT it's not without it's downsides. Opportunity cost. The opportunity cost of venturing out is a myriad of things; in this instance, sleep that Sunday evening. I didn't get a wink of sleep that night from the itch. Opportunity cost. Oi.


It's Thursday now, I've been here officially three weeks, and this week has been... disappointing. I've been trying to get this lab project started and well, I won't go into the details but it's felt like a game of hot-potatoes, everyone too busy to have me around, passing me back and forth. It's just frustrating because I'm here for ten weeks, which in research terms is loads of time. I'm efficient, enthusiastic, a fast learner, and more than qualified to take on whatever is required. And yet it's felt like I'm just a burden to the people here. Which pretty much sucks. I had three months to go anywhere in the world to do anything I wanted for this elective (believe you me, I considered a lot of different options: interning for an NGO in Washington D.C., mobile surgical unit --and visiting family -- in South America, missionary hospital elsewhere in Africa; the world truly was our oyster!), but I wanted to be able to learn from and also to give something back to the MRC because I believe in what they do here, I believe in their ethos. Needless to say, I had my second almost-cry on Tuesday. So it's been a disappointing week.

The other students I'm living with have given me varying advice -- 'You have to be really persistent, be annoying, keep at it. It's not just you'; 'Just enjoy your time here, do other things, explore The Gambia. Don't feel bad about the slow-ness. Think of it as a holiday.' And apparently the other medical student from my school who was here for the three months before me had a similar experience which makes me feel a little better (it's not just me!). But still, I can't seem to shake off this feeling of disappointment. What makes it worse is that, because of trying to chase up certain people and get this [fighting the urge to insert a negative adjective] project started, I have missed going out to the field with the vaccination team both times this week!! :( I SO look forward to those days. And for what? Sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Hahahaha... yeah, so not a particularly great week. But the upside is that the weekend is almost here... and I'm learning just to... go with the flow I guess. Despite telling myself I would come into this trip with no expectations, I guess there was a part of me that wanted to do really well on this project. Maybe that's part of adapting to the situation in hand, a situation which, at this point, I have little control over.

When I was sitting around in our living room talking with a few of the others yesterday, I said how being here, having this experience has made me so much more appreciative of life back home. How, maybe part of the reason why I'm having the experience I am is so that when I get home to start my job as a junior doctor (the first thee months of which are known to be one of the hardest times in medicine) I'll be acutely aware of the blessings of each day. The response of my Ethiopian friend was, 'Isn't that the reason why people from first-world countries come to third-world countries? So they can feel better about their lives back home?' He said this in jest, meaning to tease me, with his beautiful Ethiopian smile, but I couldn't help feeling... like I'd just been punched in the stomach... with the truth. Because he was right. The dichotomy in Africa isn't between skin colour, or religion, or culture... it is between those who belong to the 'First-world' and those... who don't. Even just the names alone, 'First-world' verses 'Third-world'... And there is nothing I can do to change the fact that I belong to the former. For years I've wondered why some of us are born into either 'Worlds' but that, no matter the reason, as a member of the 'First-world' we have a social responsibility to help. But even as I write the words I feel like I'm being condescending, a sense of devaluing the amazing African people I have met thus far, that they would 'need' us. Yet what is the alternative? To not help? No.

...Oh man. I dunno. Ponder this, John Campbell, ponder this!

Okay, enough of that for now.

I can't believe this week is already almost over -- I'm excited for the weekend! Last week I met a fellow kiwi -- YAY! She is from Whangarei and working as a live-in nanny for one of the doctors here for half a year. On Sunday her and I are going to head to Banjul (the capital city about 45minutes drive away) to the huge market and to do some of the other touristy stuff in the area. That should be fun. I'm keen to track down some more artwork too. Hopefully the weather will be nice, not so much rain!

Photos to come soon. :)

Till next time,
Always,
-A

Thought of the day: I'm becoming addicted to Nutella. Not good.