You always seem to hear urban-legend-esque stories leading up to fifth year, the "big" exams, the culmination of two years of daily lectures and labs followed by two years of hospital ward work. You hear these stories about how everyone subtly (or not so subtly) begins to get more competitive, or in the very least, starts to bring their game more and more.
I don't know if it's because I've started with the two most intense rotations of the year or if it's just the people in my group (because we certainly seem to have an extra extra intense group of students), but those urban-legend-esque stories are beginning to feel less and less urban legend-y and more and more... reality. And I'm just tired. That change, I know, is most likely due to the fact that ALL med students have this undeniable fear of failure (excuse the generalised statement, but this one I'm fairly sure is true across the board, albeit to varying degrees of manifestation), whether that's feeling completely unprepared and insecure for these exams until a week after they're over when we FINALLY get the "You've Passed" email or always being a bit paranoid that we're going to royally screw up one day by missing a SERIOUS diagnosis.
The funny thing is that I've always found med school relatively do-able; never too tiring, never too stressful, never too worrisome. Four years of chugging along with a baseline level of what I thought was hard-work, manageable, with some free-time amidst it all to relax, rest, sleep, "recuperate." So when I heard those urban-legend-esque stories during my time leading up to fifth year I used to think to myself surely there's a degree of exaggeration there?? Surely it's just an issue of personal perception?
But man, it was NOT exaggeration. The baseline intensity HAS suddenly been taken up three plus ten notches. Those days of kicking back and relaxing for the weekend with no worries in the world have thus far been nonexistent this year.
When did this happen? Is it just a fifth year phenomenon, a blip that will cease with November exams? Or, as I suspect, is this just the beginning of... well, you know, LIFE?
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