Not that I in any way regret getting involved with all the things I seemed to have gotten myself into to; not that I'm complaining at all in regards to my self-inflicted state of being, state of mind, state of everything and anything, because I wouldn't do anything different if I could; but I have a history of the following: self-inflicted busyness begets exhaustion, which begets sleep deprivation and/or absolute fatigue, which begets getting "in" my head, which begets going a bit insane, which begets can't stop thinking, which begets rethinking everything I think about life and man and world and life, again... and the cycle continues.
I can confidently say I don't know what I want, I don't know what I think, I don't know what I'm doing; I think I clicked into Survival mode six weeks ago and there I continue. The difference right now from all those previous episodes? This doesn't end with the end of the run, or end of the semester... this doesn't end until at least Nov 2009 when I will most likely collapse into bed for a good three days, acquiescing, finally, to what my body has been crying out for all year.
Holistic approach to medicine -- damn, they're right. Body-Mind-Emotion-Spirit. In the end they're all connected.
I don't know what's going on with me right now. Hopefully I'll get out of this whatever it is, soon.
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