Three weeks into my surgical run, and although the initial infatuation/mad crazy falling in love phase may gradually be coming to an end, it is being replaced by a more stable, consistent, deep-seated love.
I've reached a point where I don't really mind how many surgeries I see, or how well (or not so well) I might do relative to the others in my group (assessment wise), or what the surgical consultants think of me -- because I now have a quiet determination. It's not (as) hyperactive. It's not as loquacious. Or vivacious. And there is most definitely less PDA compared to maybe a week ago. But more, a sense of being truly comfortable with one another. I guess I've become pretty sure of my desire to get into a career of surgery, and with that I no longer feel like I have to prove myself... or moreover, "convince" myself that surgery is awesome. I know if I want it enough (which I do) and work hard enough (which I will) I'll get there. And I also know that what I do as a fourth year medical student on my surgical run, in reality, has very little bearing (if at all) on my future career as a surgeon.
So my head's not spinning off my body AS MUCH as it was two weeks ago. And I even had a pretty crap day today, in some respects. But, strangely enough, I don't seem to love surgery any less. :)
Actually, all this calming down is just further confirmation that this really is true love.
Now that I've had a taste of it, all other areas of medicine seems like... drudgery. Like actual... WORK. Anything that's not surgery doesn't seem to even register on my enjoyment scale. How funny.
Life really is full of surprises. I love it.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
10 Things I Love [the most, cos there are oh so many!] About Surgery
1.) It's solution-orientated. There's something wrong and then you fix it. Inflammed appendix? We'll cut it out. Burn? Skin graft. Melanoma? Excise the cancerous tissue. Bowel obstruction? We'll un-obstruct it for you. And if we can't fix it, we refer you... to a physician. LoL. Either way, the patient is gone before you know it -- back home, or to a cardiologist/neurologist/geriatrician/gastroenterologist/oncologist/etc... Either way, our part is 100% satisfaction guaranteed.
2.) Most surgical patients are "Otherwise fit and healthy." Either it's an urgent, life-threatening condition (i.e. trauma; aortic dissection; etc) OR they're hunky dory except for [insert surgical condition here]. Hence a patient history and examination is, for the most part, pretty darn straightforward. Bottom line, they're not 89years old with a kazillion co-morbidities!
3.) It's fast-paced. There's always something to be doing; you eat when you can, drink when you can, sit down when you can... and every minute constantly varies cos you're always on the GO. I LOVE it. (Cos, really, who needs an hour for lunch everyday?? Maybe it's the American in me...)
4.) Surgeons are DIRECT. Some may think abrupt? Maybe abrasive? But I don't think that's the case at all. They say what needs to be said, nothing more, nothing less. They get straight to the point and then move forward. Man, it's refreshing; it just feels right. I'm home!
5.) Surgeons are good-looking (and, even better, mostly male). Even if they're not good-looking, they're still pretty darn good-looking if you know what I mean. Eye candy never hurts, is all I'm saying.
6.) Scrubs. Need I say more? Is there any other profession in which you can wear cute looking blue (what are basically) pyjamas all day while looking extra-respectable??? And those surgical caps? They are the shizzle.
7.) Scrubbing up. Getting yourself sterile for surgery is extraordinarily F-U-N. Standing over the sink, surgical mask and cap on, scrubbing your arms and hands, then holding them up in the boxing position to shake off all the excess water before slipping oh-so-smoothly into your sterile gown. THEN, to top it off, putting on sterile gloves without ever touching them??? Scrubbing up is an adventure in itself. I LOVE IT. I imagine it’s similar to how it'd feel to be a backup dancer for Chris Brown… or is that just me?
8.) Surgery itself is almost... transcendent. You forget everything around you and for however long you're in theatre your adrenaline's pumping, you're focused, and everything else around you... dissipates. It must be one of life's ultimate natural highs.
9.) I love being a student. And there is no other specialty that takes longer to train for than surgery. It'll take AT LEAST ten years... YUSS!
10.) It. Is. Challenging. It. Is. Rigorous. More than just performing the surgery itself, you have to know your stuff. And unlike a lot of other specialities in medicine, you can't BS. Because there are definitive right and wrong answers for most, if not all, things in surgery, the pressures on for you to have the former; you have to know it back to front. More than being in theatre or scrubbing up, the reason why I could see myself heading down this career path is, on the fourth day of the run one of the consultant surgeons (=attendings) were drilling -- and I mean, DRILLING HARD-CORE -- one of the surgical registras (=residents) who is currently preparing for his final exams. And they were doing it in front of us students to emulate in as far as possible the real thing -- an oral exam with an audience of surgeon examiners. And as I sat watching this registra sweating under the pressure, I suddenly had this overwhelming desire to BE him. Or rather, to be in his position. Unbelievable, I know, but for whatever reason, that's where I want to be in ten, fifteen years. I love being pushed. And surgery's where it all happens. I may not being jumping from helicopters onto snow mountains or cycling down a rugged cliff, but in my own way I think I too am a thrill seeker.
2.) Most surgical patients are "Otherwise fit and healthy." Either it's an urgent, life-threatening condition (i.e. trauma; aortic dissection; etc) OR they're hunky dory except for [insert surgical condition here]. Hence a patient history and examination is, for the most part, pretty darn straightforward. Bottom line, they're not 89years old with a kazillion co-morbidities!
3.) It's fast-paced. There's always something to be doing; you eat when you can, drink when you can, sit down when you can... and every minute constantly varies cos you're always on the GO. I LOVE it. (Cos, really, who needs an hour for lunch everyday?? Maybe it's the American in me...)
4.) Surgeons are DIRECT. Some may think abrupt? Maybe abrasive? But I don't think that's the case at all. They say what needs to be said, nothing more, nothing less. They get straight to the point and then move forward. Man, it's refreshing; it just feels right. I'm home!
5.) Surgeons are good-looking (and, even better, mostly male). Even if they're not good-looking, they're still pretty darn good-looking if you know what I mean. Eye candy never hurts, is all I'm saying.
6.) Scrubs. Need I say more? Is there any other profession in which you can wear cute looking blue (what are basically) pyjamas all day while looking extra-respectable??? And those surgical caps? They are the shizzle.
7.) Scrubbing up. Getting yourself sterile for surgery is extraordinarily F-U-N. Standing over the sink, surgical mask and cap on, scrubbing your arms and hands, then holding them up in the boxing position to shake off all the excess water before slipping oh-so-smoothly into your sterile gown. THEN, to top it off, putting on sterile gloves without ever touching them??? Scrubbing up is an adventure in itself. I LOVE IT. I imagine it’s similar to how it'd feel to be a backup dancer for Chris Brown… or is that just me?
8.) Surgery itself is almost... transcendent. You forget everything around you and for however long you're in theatre your adrenaline's pumping, you're focused, and everything else around you... dissipates. It must be one of life's ultimate natural highs.
9.) I love being a student. And there is no other specialty that takes longer to train for than surgery. It'll take AT LEAST ten years... YUSS!
10.) It. Is. Challenging. It. Is. Rigorous. More than just performing the surgery itself, you have to know your stuff. And unlike a lot of other specialities in medicine, you can't BS. Because there are definitive right and wrong answers for most, if not all, things in surgery, the pressures on for you to have the former; you have to know it back to front. More than being in theatre or scrubbing up, the reason why I could see myself heading down this career path is, on the fourth day of the run one of the consultant surgeons (=attendings) were drilling -- and I mean, DRILLING HARD-CORE -- one of the surgical registras (=residents) who is currently preparing for his final exams. And they were doing it in front of us students to emulate in as far as possible the real thing -- an oral exam with an audience of surgeon examiners. And as I sat watching this registra sweating under the pressure, I suddenly had this overwhelming desire to BE him. Or rather, to be in his position. Unbelievable, I know, but for whatever reason, that's where I want to be in ten, fifteen years. I love being pushed. And surgery's where it all happens. I may not being jumping from helicopters onto snow mountains or cycling down a rugged cliff, but in my own way I think I too am a thrill seeker.
Monday, September 8, 2008
FYI
Oh, and I also saw the trapezius muscle in all it's "in situ" glory at the back of a patient's neck from which we were excising a lump.
(Okay, not "we" technically, but hey, I'm a member of the clinical team, riiiight??)
Because the lump extended so close to the superficial fascia, the latter was also removed, exposing the trapezius... and it looked JUST like the textbook diagrams. I know, shocking, right? I almost didn't believe it myself! I guess that disproves my theory that all the doctors in the world are conspiring secretly together and everything they teach is basically made up. Bummer. LoL
(Okay, not "we" technically, but hey, I'm a member of the clinical team, riiiight??)
Because the lump extended so close to the superficial fascia, the latter was also removed, exposing the trapezius... and it looked JUST like the textbook diagrams. I know, shocking, right? I almost didn't believe it myself! I guess that disproves my theory that all the doctors in the world are conspiring secretly together and everything they teach is basically made up. Bummer. LoL
note to self: don't be so quick to laugh, ay?
Day 1 of my surgical run -- AWESOME. We have a great team of junior doctors and students under some really cool consultant surgeons, so it looks like it'll be an enjoyable four-week attachment. Just getting used to be on a hospital ward again and re-mastering the skill of trying to be useful whilst not getting in the way (too much) of the busy nurses! LoL Had a pretty busy day with a ward round to start, saw a couple patients mid-day, then finished off with an afternoon in the Day Surgery Unit which was again, AWESOME. I think I'm finally beginning to get used to watching admin of local anaesthetic (I only cringe about three times now, as opposed to the kazillion previously!), plus I learnt how to scrub in today which was oodles and oodles of FUN. The myriad of scenes from Grey's Anatomy where Burke and McDreamy are chatting to each other while scrubbing up kept flashing through my mind. Hehehe... Although...
Surgical Reg: "Learning how to scrub up can be a pretty tricky process at the start, but after you do it a thousand times it becomes like second nature. The three most common mistakes medical students make when they're first starting out are 1.) not putting on their masks before they scrub up, 2.) not laying out their sterile gloves beforehand, and 3.) touching/whacking something not sterile while putting on their gown."
Me: "Hahaha... yeah..."
Surgical Reg: "You laugh now, but just wait. I'm totally serious. It'll be one of those things."
And what happens an hour later when I've scrubbed up and putting on my sterile gown?? I knock my arm on the big ol' surgical lights... which aren't sterile.
Needless to say, the surgical reg had a good chuckle.
Nuts. LoL.
Surgical Reg: "Learning how to scrub up can be a pretty tricky process at the start, but after you do it a thousand times it becomes like second nature. The three most common mistakes medical students make when they're first starting out are 1.) not putting on their masks before they scrub up, 2.) not laying out their sterile gloves beforehand, and 3.) touching/whacking something not sterile while putting on their gown."
Me: "Hahaha... yeah..."
Surgical Reg: "You laugh now, but just wait. I'm totally serious. It'll be one of those things."
And what happens an hour later when I've scrubbed up and putting on my sterile gown?? I knock my arm on the big ol' surgical lights... which aren't sterile.
Needless to say, the surgical reg had a good chuckle.
Nuts. LoL.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
who's gonna type up all those patient report dictations?
I know House is just a TV show, but I really don't understand why Dr Cuddy -- who is Dean of Medicine at this HUGE, FANCY, University Hospital in New England -- doesn't even have a secretary. Actually, now that I think about it, none of the doctors on House seem to. Most specialists have, like, FIVE each. LoL
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
come rain or shine
All that stuff I said about sunshine and summer days? Yeah, didn't last long unfortunately! I can hear the rain peltering down outside as I type. Regardless, I had a great day at lunch with friends followed by some shopping. I love holidays... too bad it's already more than half over! :(
Although I loved the few gorgeous days we've had recently I will never ceased to be amazed at how cozy and lovely rainy days can make you feel... as long as you don't have to leave the house! Perfect watching-dvds-in-your-pyjamas weather!
Although I loved the few gorgeous days we've had recently I will never ceased to be amazed at how cozy and lovely rainy days can make you feel... as long as you don't have to leave the house! Perfect watching-dvds-in-your-pyjamas weather!
Monday, September 1, 2008
Character Building 101
So one of the hardest things about still living at home -- actually, the only thing now that I think about it -- is the fact that a lot of the times the most insignificant and minute decisions become this BIG THING.
Example 1: Out of curiosity, mum calls me up from work and asks what I'm going to have for lunch today. I tell her I'll probably make myself a salad but there aren't any tomatoes in the fridge. I had been thinking if I still wanted to have a salad by lunch time I'd probably just drive down to the store by our place and get one. Cue (what felt like) a ten minute discussion on --> maybe she could get dad to stop by the store on his way from here/there/etc; she could call him and see what he thinks; could I have a salad without tomatoes in it; what other alternatives are there besides tomatoes; did I have any other errands to run while I was out and about anyways; maybe I could eat something else today and she could pick up some tomatoes on the way home from work... and so it goes.
[Note: in the end, I didn't even end up having a salad cos I couldn't be bothered to toss one together. LoL]
Example 2: I've been considering whether or not to change my cellphone provider from Telecom to Vodafone, mainly because I DESPISE texting with a vengeance and my subsequent right thenar muscle hypertrophy (i.e. abnormally bulky muscle below my right thumb). And the only good thing about Telecom is $10 texting, so I've almost decided to get on a Vodafone plan. Cue (what was LITERALLY) like an hour long discussion about said topic, beginning with me explaining to my parents how cellphone providers work, the difference between Telecom and Vodafone, what a plan on Vodafone would mean, how much it'd cost, different features, should Kirsty get on Vodafone too?, do we have to buy new phones?, what would we do with our old phones?, should dad get on Vodafone too?, does he really need to?, having said that do I really need to?, should I wait till next year?... and so it goes.
I love living at home; I don't regret it for a minute. First year I would have died if I had to live in a hall and do Health Sciences with what was at best passive-aggressive competition, at worst, frank blatant competition; second and third year, living at home and simultaneously working part-time meant I saved up enough money to go to Argentina and the UK respectively (worth it!); and now, being in clinicals and not having to worry about rent, flatmates, living in a freezing house, etc, and getting another student loan for living costs , etc is such a relief! But every once in a while, I really do want to pull my hair out. And now with Kirsty gone, I am very aware that all my parents' attention will be focused soley on me... I'm going to think of the next two years as Character Building. I've never been a very patient person, but I am determined to use this situation to change me for the better. LoL. At least that's what I'm gonna have to keep telling myself.
Example 1: Out of curiosity, mum calls me up from work and asks what I'm going to have for lunch today. I tell her I'll probably make myself a salad but there aren't any tomatoes in the fridge. I had been thinking if I still wanted to have a salad by lunch time I'd probably just drive down to the store by our place and get one. Cue (what felt like) a ten minute discussion on --> maybe she could get dad to stop by the store on his way from here/there/etc; she could call him and see what he thinks; could I have a salad without tomatoes in it; what other alternatives are there besides tomatoes; did I have any other errands to run while I was out and about anyways; maybe I could eat something else today and she could pick up some tomatoes on the way home from work... and so it goes.
[Note: in the end, I didn't even end up having a salad cos I couldn't be bothered to toss one together. LoL]
Example 2: I've been considering whether or not to change my cellphone provider from Telecom to Vodafone, mainly because I DESPISE texting with a vengeance and my subsequent right thenar muscle hypertrophy (i.e. abnormally bulky muscle below my right thumb). And the only good thing about Telecom is $10 texting, so I've almost decided to get on a Vodafone plan. Cue (what was LITERALLY) like an hour long discussion about said topic, beginning with me explaining to my parents how cellphone providers work, the difference between Telecom and Vodafone, what a plan on Vodafone would mean, how much it'd cost, different features, should Kirsty get on Vodafone too?, do we have to buy new phones?, what would we do with our old phones?, should dad get on Vodafone too?, does he really need to?, having said that do I really need to?, should I wait till next year?... and so it goes.
I love living at home; I don't regret it for a minute. First year I would have died if I had to live in a hall and do Health Sciences with what was at best passive-aggressive competition, at worst, frank blatant competition; second and third year, living at home and simultaneously working part-time meant I saved up enough money to go to Argentina and the UK respectively (worth it!); and now, being in clinicals and not having to worry about rent, flatmates, living in a freezing house, etc, and getting another student loan for living costs , etc is such a relief! But every once in a while, I really do want to pull my hair out. And now with Kirsty gone, I am very aware that all my parents' attention will be focused soley on me... I'm going to think of the next two years as Character Building. I've never been a very patient person, but I am determined to use this situation to change me for the better. LoL. At least that's what I'm gonna have to keep telling myself.
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