I know the world doesn't revolve around me, I promise!

I stopped by AA yesterday morning to book a time for this dreaded driving test I've been wanting to try before school starts up again. I filled out the forms, took everything I needed to the counter and was talking to the guy working there to book a time:

AA Guy: So when and where would you like to take the test?

Me: Oh, in Dunedin, as soon as possible would be great.

AA Guy: Umm... [points to calendar] we can slot you in Friday 10th at the earliest at 1.30pm.

Me: Ahh... do you have anything sooner than that?

AA Guy: Possibly, maybe, on the 8th at 10.30am. Does that suit you?

Me: You don't have anything earlier??

AA Guy: When were you thinking?

Me: Do you have anything this week, like Friday would be ideal.

AA Guy: I'm sorry, no, we don't have anything in Dunedin till the 8th --

Me: -- it's just that I start back up at school on Monday and I really wanted to give it a go before I do.See,I'mamedstudentandwehaveeighthourdaysandIdon'tknowwhatmyschedulewillbelikeonceIstart. So it'dbereallygreatifIcouldgetthisoutofthewaybeforeIstart...

AA Guy: Well... if you wanted to take the test Friday, you really should have been here to book back in [points to 1st of Jan on calendar].


Okay, so he has a point. And I realized afterwards how obnoxious I must have sounded, but I'm just not very good at things like this -- I'm already gonna be behind in my student allowance cos I left it so late! And that's missing out on free money, nuts! But this stuff can be so annoying -- why is there always so many little things one has to do in order to participate in society? I wonder what it would have been like to live two hundred years ago when all you did was farm and talk to your neighbours and go to church. LoL.

But alas, I booked a time for tomorrow -- much earlier than I expected but whatever. I will give it a go and if I fail, I fail. It's out in Mosgiel so hopefully it'll be easier. I will just practice heaps today and tomorrow morning before I take the test. Talk about last-minute prep!

And yet, the most annoying thing of the morning? I failed my eye test, AGAIN. A friend said how I really should get contacts and such because my "good" eye is probably over compensating like crazy, which is not good. He has a point... plus, I don't want to admit it but I have noticed my general eyesight deteriorating a little in the past year... although... that'll mean more money, more errands, more time... *sigh*... but I really shouldn't take my youth for granted. The more I "push" my body now, the more I'll pay in twenty years.

City of Sails

Just got back from my trip to Auckland this morning and what an absolutely fantastic time it was! Turned out to be a much different kind of trip than I had originally anticipated. Mainly due to the fact I was crashing at a friend's place so ended up hanging out with them quite a lot, which was so much fun cos they're a hilarious lot! But I still met up with everyone I had planned on AND got a substantial amount of shopping done -- it got to the point where on Saturday afternoon I just stopped going into shops cos it was going too too well, having already spent waaaaaaay more money than I should have. But I got some great stuff on sale, mainly from Max, and the most perfect pair of heels (at half price!) for a dress I got a few weeks back for my trip to Seattle in April.

The weather was great so I got to do a fair bit of exploring the area I was staying at too. The location of my friend's place was pretty amazing because it was literally right next to Auckland med school/hospital and Newmarket was five minutes walk in one direction and Queen Street about fifteen minutes walk in the other direction.

I often forget just how beautiful Auckland is too, in its own way. That rich, lush, dark green which engulfs the city in all directions; the sun which feels a bit brighter and thicker; and the sky which may be a bit more bluer; not to mention, that gorgeous harbour and Rangitoto Island in the background.

Auckland will always be tantamount to my early childhood -- some of the very first memories I have of running around barefoot in the fields of Mt Roskill... fun times! Driving through the city, the names of places all sound vaguely familiar, but not familiar enough. I kind of like it that way.

But, once again, I'm glad to be home. I know it was only for a few nights but it was pretty tiring, especially since the friends I was staying with have very different sleeping and eating patterns than I do. We joked how we function on two different time zones -- I'm pretty sure I'm five hours ahead of them! LoL. And I missed my bed so much -- I always do!

I've come back with plenty of free "souvenirs," including eight mosquito bites and three blisters! Urgh.

I can't believe it's already the end of January! It's my last week of break, and unfortunately I have to spend it worrying about learning to drive. I have a lesson planned everyday for the next four days, and I'll prob give the test a go on Friday, the last day of my summer vacation. How sad. I have said this before and I will say it again: I hate having to learn to drive. It has been this huge, heavy black cloud over my life for the past four years and it just follows me around relentlessly. WHY???

iron curtain eyes

It's 3.15am. Yup -- A.M. It's a horrible feeling, knowing you're gonna be yawning all day before said day has even begun.

Why have I been having so much trouble sleeping lately? Why, oh, why, oh, WHY???

I may know why, to be perfectly honest. But ask me again in two years and I might tell ya. Maybe.

On top of working on my research project all day, I have to go into the lab tonight... like I did last night... and like I have to do Saturday morning...

Doesn't look like I'll be getting any real rest til... Sunday? But then I guess technically that's how it should be, right?

granny-naps and pineapple juice

It's WARM today. I'm even tempted to say 'hot' but I know what's hot to me is probably nothing to most people around the world who actually experience four seasons every year unlike us. So I'll stick to warm.

Even though I had originally intended on working in my little matchbox-office in the anatomy department today, by 11am I had to get out of there. Not only is my "office" actually nothing more than two closets stuck together, but there is no window (hence no natural light) and is located on the second floor. And it gets STUFFY.

Normally I can take it. The windowless matchbox that is my office usually helps me concentrate, repressing the sudden urge to start cavorting in those very distracting summertime daydreams. But today was impossible.

I went in quite early in the morning as I have been all week because of the trouble I've been having sleeping. Worked on my project, ran some errands (as well a quick impromptu shop I'm ashamed to admit), followed by a meeting with my supervisor, but when I got back to my room afterwards I just couldn't take it anymore. I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE.

Thus I've been enjoying working from home for the afternoon, sitting in the sun with Norah Jones playing in the background.


Bring on the daydreams!

synergy

We had a national video-conference this morning for the New Zealand Medical Student Journal, which went fantastic. It was beyond great seeing everyone all around the country. I was amazed how professional it turned out, how professional it feels, being on the Exec. The meeting was like as if we were in a fancy-schmancy international board meeting for a multi-million dollar company... or something. LoL. It was such a productive hour too -- synergy, I tell you! A synergy rooted in shared passion and enthusiasm. Yay!

What a great experience it has been being part of the Exec, what a great experience indeed.

how utterly and perfectly awesome...

You know what? God is AWESOME.

That's it. It's as simple as that.

It seems I always have periods of my life where I push Him away, for whatever reason, and turn to the world and to myself. And I know the person I become when this happens: this selfish, negative, and angry person, even, I have a hard time admitting, hateful at times. Maybe not out rightly, just with this black and hardened heart.

But every time I come back to Him. Not because I'm good, or strong, or wise enough to do so, but because God draws me back to Him. By the indescribable and absolute perfect Grace freely given us through his son Jesus Christ, He brings me back to Him. So often using the words and actions of my brothers and sisters in Christ -- He nudges me back to Him. Every. Single. Time.

"Anna, that's enough. Come back now. That's enough."

WoW. It's happened so many times I've lost count, but it never ceases to amaze me. And every time I say, okay, I'll try harder next time... but then I fail. Again.

How great it is to be humbled once again and reminded that we live each day by His Grace and His Grace alone.

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." Revelations 2: 4,5


I remember. I remember... I remember that evening on the Boston harbour at the concert, standing next to the guy who was perfect on paper; the guy of my dreams. I remember, Lord, looking amazedly at the setting sun, the perfect blue sky and thinking, Lord, You've romanced me. There is none like You. All I am is Yours forever... I remember.

How awesome is our God. How awesome is our Saviour, Lord Jesus Christ. How utterly and perfectly awesome.

my "people"

What an eventful week it's been. Busy with my research project, sitting in front of the computer for eight hours a day is tougher than I thought it'd be. And two-hour meetings with my supervisor almost everyday! Full-on, I tell you, full-on!

I went to donate blood again on Monday morning, which was... difficult, as always. My brachial veins are too deep, I think, and they always have to use these tiny ones at the side. I like donating blood because I think it's really important, and in theory I'm fine doing it... until the GINORMOUS needle goes in and you have to SIT THERE for however many minutes. The other two times I've done it haven't been that bad, but this time the lady managed to put the needle into my left arm but it wasn't stable and blood was coming out, etc., so decided to take it out. It was okay on my right arm her second go, but now I have a huge bruise on the left, making me look not unlike a suspicious IV drug user. Hmmm... Mum and Kirsty even came with me this time and gave it a go, however reluctantly at first. But Mum was so proud of herself in the end, and a little proud of the fact that she's got "man veins." LoL.

Like I said, it's been a busy week, working on my research project, working a the lab Friday night, getting my hair done (yay!), doing more journal stuff, meeting up with people, etc. I even had time to bake some Caramello brownies for my summer research roommate who is flying home tomorrow. He's just finished second year and I kind of knew him from the Queenstown Medical Christian Conference at the beginning of last year, but not really well. It was so cool because on Friday (his last day) I got to have such an awesome conversation with him about God and Christianity, ended up sharing my testimony, I guess, and just hearing about how he found being a Christian in med school. Our conversation got cut short though unfortunately because of a meeting I had with my supervisor, but it's all as per God's will in the end.

Today my dad got back from his two-week trip to Korea -- he looked and sounded so incredibly tired. He's a bit sick too, which makes him appear even more... fragile, LoL. We looked through photos of his childhood neighbourhoods and all these strange people who, theoretically, share my bloodline. Kirsty remembers some of them more than I do because she was there till she was eight. But it was kind of nice being reminded of the fact that we do have family, however far away they are physically. Looking through his photos actually made me want to go back and visit... for a second. A twang of not nostalgia because that implies I remember things, but more like, hey, that's my heritage, that's my bloodline, that's my... people...??

But the true highlight of his going to Korea has to be the fact that he came back with, literally, about thirty pairs of earrings, maybe more! No other presents, just earrings, which is exactly what Kirsty and I wanted. He chose some himself, but most from aunties and cousins, and on one occasion, a semi-drunken uncle who, when he found out we liked earrings, ran out to the nearest store and bought a box full. Suffice it to say that box is the "let's-give-away" set. LoL. Nonetheless, some great selections overall!

the upside of commuting?

A cousin of mine who lives in New York City spends four hours a day commuting to and from work: a drive to catch the ferry followed by the subway. Four hours a day is a lot of time -- four hours spent going to and fro on top of an eight to ten hour workday. That's twelve to fourteen hours a day dedicated solely to WORK. I don't envy him at all, not one bit... except... maybe... the one good thing that would come from commuting would be the plethora of quality reading and/or music listening time. You are forced to sit there for however many hours a day where the only practical thing you could possibly do is either read or listen to music and/or (if one could afford an iPod unlike myself) PODCASTS. The latter is another cool discovery I stumbled upon while perusing anatomy websites for my research project. More specifically, medicine-related podcasts! It's amazing what's out there. Imagine all the passive learning you could do that way.

Or I could just spend that time actively studying... but that would require, you know, action.

abducens, it's abducens!

Combing through pages and pages of Internet sites is indeed my idea of fun research. Even so, considering it's technically my summer vacation, progress has been slow at best. Admittedly it's kind of nice sitting at my desk again and feeling productive -- well, at least more productive then lazing around doing absolutely nothing -- but my good friend Mr Procrastination has once again reared his ugly face.

University of Michigan Medical School, Medical Gross Anatomy Learning Resources: tenth on my list of thirty sites to analyse. It's an okay site in general, but Mr Procrastination absolutely loves it. I've got two words for you: LEARNING GAMES. Yup, crosswords, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire Doctor, and Anatomy Jeopardy. It's a good thing I didn't know about this during the year or else I wouldn't have gotten any study done.

I gave the Cranial Nerves Crossword a go just now -- scary how much you forget in a couple months. Although, I think I did pretty good considering. I only had to google one: CNVI, just couldn't remember the name!!!

speaking of Colonel Willie...

Speaking of Colonal Willie Sharp, also known in the real world as William Fichtner, it's so strange seeing him in Prisonbreak now -- he's so much older than when I first saw him in Armageddon.

Then:

Now:

Although, he will never be as hot as he was on that West Wing episode, The Supremes, as Justice Christopher Mulready. I refuse to believe that he is my dad's age. I just refuse, point-blank:

Without a doubt, my favourite episode in all seven seasons of the show... I want to watch West Wing. LoL.

"Colonal Willie Sharp, United States Air Force, requesting to shake the hand of the daughter of the bravest man I've known..."

Armageddon was on TV tonight and though I didn't watch it this time around, it got me thinking of just how great that movie is and how it holds so much sentimental value. It takes me straight back to when I was in sixth grade: my family and I had just moved the SUBURBS of America and I had been finishing up my last year of elementary (primary) school. I remember my first day and how... I felt so much like the odd one out. My black jeans and purple cardy (yes, I remember what I was wearing; think what you will) and my teacher with her big hair, big eyes, big mouth and, of course, that quintessential burly American accent. She took me around the other classrooms to "introduce" the new girl from "New Zeeeeahland." 'Say something!' they'd ask. 'Ummm... hello?' '[Laughs] Oh my goodness! So you're from Australia!' 'No, actually, New Zealand.' 'Oh, is that that little island at the bottom of Australia?' 'No, actually that's Tasmania.' 'Oh.... well, welcome!' And so forth. [Unfortunately, this was pre-Lord of the Rings when people around the world hadn't heard of New Zealand before.] What must have been even more strange is the fact that I don't look very kiwi at all. I mean, that's not the kind of accent you'd expect from someone who looks asian -- is asian.

I'm getting side-tracked, but that's actually my point. Armageddon; sentimental value; etc. It was during that year I watched Armageddon. No wait, I lie. I watched it back in Auckland right before I left for the States, but my fervent passion to become an astronaut started in that overlapping time period. Inspired by the world-saving heroic deeds of Bruce Willis and Co., I knew right there and then the day an asteroid was really headed for earth, I wanted to be one of those twelve heading straight for it to save the world.

It sounds silly now, of course, but... it was real. There are certain things in life which as time goes by you have to remind yourself of how real it was (or still is) and this is one of those things. It certainly got serious enough. My year-long 8th grade project was on NASA and the 60s; for my year-long 9th grade project I built a wee robot, scientific method and everything [Sidebar: yes this all sounds very nerdy... but I guess it was]; and one of my judges for 8th grade project who was a member of the Rotary Club had contacts with a congressman and the three of us HAD LUNCH. Is that crazy, or what? Not to mention, I was fourteen at the time. I didn't really tell anyone about that lunch expect for my parents who, let's face it, had very little interest in hearing about my aeronautical fantasies. Nonetheless, I had a plan and most importantly I was more ambitious than ANYTHING.

Oh how times have changed. It's fun thinking about though. And watching Armageddon always gets me revisiting these times.

I know it's a new year and all, but to be honest, I've never really been one to celebrate New Years. It's not an active decision, but I've just never felt it was a big deal. The rolling of another number at the end of yet another number. 2007, 2008... it doesn't mean much. What is significant, however -- how I measure the passing of time, in a way -- is how situations change, people change. How I change.

Anna the Astronaut... it was amazing while it lasted. But more than that, it was real. I was really gonna do it... But God had other things in mind.