perfect faithfulness

Though my senioritis is, for the most part, behind me now, I've found myself in what feels like yet another 'study rut,' mainly because of anatomy. It's never been my strong-point, but what's worse, it just doesn't fit with the way I study. To cut a long story short, all I seem to be doing with my time as of late is attempting to study anatomy and failing to do so... hence the procrastination. I could, theoretically, go and study another area (which would be all hunky dory), but it's not like I can brush off this ever-increasing amount of anatomy study forever... sadly enough.

Other than that, I've actually started to go to a new church the past few weeks with my dad (and mum, when she chooses to tag along) and it's been really great. Actually, more than just 'really great' but fantastic, surprisingly enough. I guess even though I had been attending my previous church for about three years now, I've never really felt completely a part of it. That's probably why I never became an official member, unlike my sister who is so into it! But this new place is pretty incredible. Tiny, I grant you -- smaller than my old church, if that's even possible -- but everything they do just... fits. And it's been really challenging too, which I love. It's starting to make me thirst for God, the Spirit and His word again, in a way I haven't been for a long time.

You know what's incredible? That God uses everyone - sometimes the most unlikely person or people - to show his perfect faithfulness. There had been several quasi-'big' issues that have been on my mind these past couple weeks, and they had been starting to weigh me down quite a lot, each in their own way. Things I had to do, things occupying and dominating most of my thoughts - in a not so great way. And so I'd been praying about them a lot, but seemingly to no avail. Then on Friday, ALL OF IT just resolved -- all those issues sorted themselves out... somehow. And all that was required of me was to sit back and passively watch it all unfold, all the while just praising God for how awesome he truly is. And what I find really amazing is that these people and situations and events -- which to anyone else might seem like it has nothing to do with God -- was really God's incredibly clear voice reminding me that he's got everything under control.

I think one of the big steps I've taken in my Christian growth this year -- another chip God's made in my life-long Christ-like transformation -- is really understanding God's perfect faithfulness and learning to have confidence in that. God can only show his faithfulness if you let him - you have to give him the opportunity. You have to trust him with something first, before he can come through for you. It's common sense really. And all these tiny steps I've taken this year, putting things before Him, asking him to just be control, has allowed me to really experience his awesome faithfulness in a way I haven't experienced before. How great is our God!

Aerosol carinogens et al

I've found myself unexpectedly busy this past week, with barely enough time or sleep. I'm not sure why... Trying to make the most of the day by studying whenever I can, and then, once I get home, working on various non-study related stuff. Sometimes I forget that I actually am involved with other things -- I keep signing up or voluntaring to do things because I think I have the time when... I don't really.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. I know there are a lot of people out there who do so much more, plus, I enjoy everything I do. It's just caught me off guard this week, that's all.

Last night I went out with a friend for dinner and a movie which was so much fun. One of the few people I've remained in touch with from my high school days (although, we didn't actually go to the same high school; we knew each other through a mutual friend who moved to Canberra a few years ago). Anyways, it was great seeing her and how great she's doing. She really is thriving in university, academically, and I'm really proud of her. I have so much respect and awe for people who aren't necessarily born extra smart or talented but who work their butts off to reach that same level as others who have, to various degress, 'genetics' on their side and take it for granted. She's double majoring in English and Film (hoping to get into journalism) as well as working at the movie theatre part-time (free movies for me!!) so she's incredibly busy -- we have that in common. I got some good book recommendations, as well as a promise that in a couple years when I'm studying for OSCEs she'll act out various patient scenarios for me! Her theatre background made use of!!

We watched Hairspray, and it was AWESOME. Hahaha... My face was literally sore from the ginormous grin I had plastered on my face from beginning to end! Sometimes a little cheesiness and wholesome goodness goes a long way, especially in the world we live in today. To just forget about your day and enjoy a world where good always wins out in the end over bad. The plot was so incredibly lovely and inspirational as well. If I ever build a time machine, without a doubt I'd want to go back to America during the 60s: civil rights, women's rights, NASA, JFK, the first heart transplant performed... it really was a period of hope.

gravity

I met a truly inspiring man this weekend. An intelligent, educated, eloquent, passionate and funny man, not to mention an amazing story teller, who shared a bit of his life with me. Growing up in Cape Town, involved in the Nelson-Mandela-activism of their time, he explained to me the difference between a coloured man and a black man.

For what I think was the first time in my life I felt like I was in the presence of someone truly GREAT - someone who commandeered your attention in the best way possible. It got me thinking... either there aren't that many like this man in the world, or I have a lot more of the world left to see.

medical (student) ingenuity 101

Conversation via text during lecture today:

Jane: Can you get sued for doing pro-bono surgery?

Me: I guess, if you do it wrong... probably more likely in places like America where everyone gets pissed off easily. Why?

Jane: Just wondering... I thought of fixing varicose veins for free and then using the leftover vein for angioplasty.


So funny. But the most hilarious part of it, albeit a little scary, was that I'm pretty sure she wasn't joking.

cos i'm leee-eaving on a jet plane...

Extremely busy day today, strangely enough, going in and out of town about four times but... WE PICKED UP OUR TICKETS!!! It's done, finished, all paid for -- we're ready. Now I just have to save up for spending/food money and... survive the eight weeks left of the school year. Seven nights in London, five nights in Edinburgh, four nights in Dublin, five days travel time circling the world. Literally.

I'm. So. Excited.

all the world's a stage...

As the end of the week, and consequently the end of my mid-semester break fast approaches, I'm happy with how I ended up spending my time. No where near did I get to my original plan of 'eat-and-breathe-studying,' but I did the least of what I had to. At least it was really relaxing. That's a good thing, right? Plus, I got all that driving practice in which was awesome. I'm enjoying myself now -- doesn't feel quite so death-defying anymore.

Good news: today I cured myself of my senioritis. I'm back to normal and hopefully it'll last till the end of the year. Now the countdown begins: seven weeks till exams. Yikes. I should probably come up with some sort of study schedule eventually to keep me on track...

I've been reading Shakespeare, surprisingly enough. The only other time was Romeo and Juliet in ninth grade English, but I could never really get into it because I knew the plot so well. Plus, I've always been at odds with how they could be willing to die for each other after only meeting like... once. Yet after my five-year Shakespeare sabbatical I thought I'd give it another go and I was right to do so - As You Like It is GREAT. Extremely funny and so sweet. But you have to read it out loud. It makes you want to start acting it out!

"All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players."

sadie or jen?

Don't ask me why but I just spent the past hour watching The Bachelor, Rome (yes, we're quite behind in NZ, TV-wise). I think I kept watching because they made it seem like it was the finale... but it wasn't. I feel strangely bitter about their, most likely, intentional misleading structure. But I guess it's my fault for forgetting that reality shows stretch things out for as long as they can. Yet I still feel robbed of an hour of my life. Hahaha... serves me right though. The Bachelor? Come on!

the measure of a sister

More breakfast banter, topic in question of increasing "seriousness" as of late:

Mum: Anna, you've really got to talk to your sister about getting a boyfriend. She's got to start thinking about marriage soon, you know! She really has to.

Me: Mum, please, just leave it alone. PLEASE.

Mum: Well, I guess it's not her fault, really. I mean, there are no guys at her work, her university friends are all spread around the country, and there's no young people at church... how is she supposed to meet anyone if there's no one around??

Me: I dunno, mum. Don't worry. You should just leave her alone.

Mum: You know, if you were truly a good sister you would talk to her about it more.

Me: Why don't you? Why do you always have to talk about it to me instead of her?? Just cos you know you'll make her angry... I don't want to be on the receiving end of this conversation all the time.

Mum: (utterly unresponsive to anything I say, as per usual) A good sister would get her to go to places where she can meet new people. You know I can't talk to her about it myself. But if it comes from you at least she'll hear you... what about _______ up in Auckland? He's so kind and good-looking and --

Me: You just love his parents and want to be parents-in-law! She doesn't like him... JUST LEAVE HER ALONE.

Mum: I can't see why she won't even consider _______.

Me: (inner monologue) maybe cos she doesn't like him like that!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!


And the conversation continues... around and around in circles we go. It's enough to make the most patient of people go crazy, and trust me, I'm not nearly patient enough, especially, it seems, when it comes to my mother. I love her but she can be a persistent woman when she wants to be. Parental Lecture Series starting post-Kirsty's graduation: first it was "the future," then money, adult responsibilites, and now marriage. Poor Kirsty. She always seems to be at the recieving end of all their 'parental advice' -- they usually manage to exhaust all their energy with my sister so by the time they come around to me, they have little to say. (Thankfully.)

Despite my apparent annoyance, I'd rather have my parents overly involved with their plethora of wisdom than not involved at all. I'm not stupid enough to think they're not right most of the time.

Although they can push it every once in a while. Really, I don't need my mum's "love is a commitment" speech when I'm balling my eyes out watching Becoming Jane. Scary how Jane's mum reminds me so much of mine: "Affection is desirable... money is in-dis-pensable."

too little too late

Alas, I find myself once again procrastinating for hours on end reading about things that have absolutely no relevance whatsoever to my immediate future. And what's worse, detracting from what is 'important.'

After watching yet another presidential debate on YouTube and reading up on more candidates (even though I have no vote as a NZ citizen so it doesn't really matter what I think!), I came across an extremely interesting article in Vanity Fair. Which goes to show you, it doesn't matter what's going on at a particular moment in time or what people may think of you -- as long as you stick to what you truly believe in, to who you are, when History reveals the truth at least you'll be able to wake up each morning with a humble dignity.

new york, new york

Just got off the phone with a friend of mine back in the US and it was so great catching up with her. I hadn't talked to her in quite a while so it was nice hearing about all her adventures and whatnot (not that she'd see them as adventures, but I digress). It's so amazing what she's doing, being in New York and trying to figure out how she's going to manage, money-wise. But I'm happy for her because I think she made the right choice in the end. New York suits her, more than she realises.

I have to admit my touch of envy at just the fact that she gets to live in Manhattan. I will visit her eventually, I will! I have to!

She always manages to update me on all our friends back from Junior High as well, and it's so interesting hearing about their lives - the good, the bad and the ugly. It's funny how even though they live half way across the world, it's not so different from here -- the lives of twenty year old college students in developed, Western societies are not so dissimilar if you really think about it.

I miss them a lot, to be honest. I know Kirsty would shake her head in disbelief thinking I'm just holding on to some silly notion of the 'American life' but it's not like that at all. They were my closest friends and they still are. Okay, so I'm not the same person I used to be in Junior High, but neither are they. We've grown and changed, but we'll always be connected by the people we used to be and the people we've become... if that makes any sense at all.

Although I'm totally broke after paying off my trip to the UK/Ireland this summer, I'm seriously considering adding on a pit-stop in NY. I shouldn't say 'pit-stop' cos that makes it sound insignificant and therefore cheap (of which it is neither), but it really would be great to see her again. I could visit my cousin and his wife as well. Not to mention, I've been dying to go to New York for the past five years!! Who knows...

chips and passionfruit ice-cream???

I can't believe what some people can eat. Fries dunked in passionfruit ice-cream? Just doesn't seem right. I guess I'm more of a 'traditional' gal when it comes to desserts - I'll stick to my banoffie pie, thank you very much.