tired hearts

I feel alive again -- somewhat. I was pretty much out of it all day yesterday, like my head was disconnected from the rest of my body. I tried sleeping, but couldn't find a comfortable position; watching TV, which made my headache a thousand times worse; reading, which definitely was NOT a good idea... so I was just dozing in and out, trying to sleep but failing miserably. I had a really bad fever too; I don't usually get fevers but yesterday I was burning up! Luckily, thanks to some good cold meds (with sedative properties) I got a good eleven hours of sleep last night and I feel alive again. Not fully myself, but at least my fever's gone.

I have to admit, sometimes I actually like getting sick. It gives me an excuse to do nothing, sans the guilt. And me getting sick this weekend was actually pretty good timing because, with all the 'drama' that's been going on with my parents about the possibility of me moving out, it reminded me that there are definitely upsides to living at home... especially when you're feeling half dead.

Kirsty's been working this entire weekend, which sucks, but she did stop by the video store for me and I feel up to it today... maybe.


Yesterday when I was trying to fall asleep, there was a moment when I was very aware of my beating heart. And it dawned on me: your heart is always pumping. Okay, so it's not so much of an epiphany in itself, but I actually started to feel sorry for my heart. It never gets a break; it never gets to stop pumping, cos once it does you're dead. I wonder if it gets tired ever...