siestas? half days? three-day work weeks??

Wrapping up the year with 11 weeks of General Practice (i.e. Family Practice medicine) is truly a God-send. My Public Health rotation finished in a bit of blur, with cramming for the test (unnecessary in hindsight) and spending most of my what would have been a relaxing weekend writing a 2,500 word study design instead.

Yesterday was my first day at the General Practice I've been assigned to, located way out on the Peninsula about a half an hour's drive along the harbour. Golly miss molly the drive out there is BEAUTIFUL. I was a bit skeptical initially, given the petrol that would be involved and the fact that the drive out there is quite tortuous. The narrow road twists and turns and follows right along the water with a speed limit of 70km/hr -- a scary drive for a relatively novice driver. However all woes were forgotten as soon as I headed out, with the view of the harbour ahead, the sun glistening off the water, glowing on to the majestic green hills so quintessentially New Zealand. Starting your work day with half an hour to yourself, surrounded by this surreal and gorgeous view, really does put things into glorious perspective.

The medicine itself is pretty fun: the nature of GP keeps you on your toes, with a diverse range of clinical problems and scenarios and people. The doctor I'm with is LOVELY, calm and articulate, laid back and kind. It's a tiny practice, rural in feel, servicing a small, close-knit community. They have one receptionist who leaves at 5pm on the dot regardless of whether there are patients left in the waiting room or not, and one part-time nurse. My doctor comes in at 10am, works till noon-ish, goes home for lunch, then back by 3pm for another couple of hours. And this "full day" is only on Mondays and Fridays: he works just the afternoon on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and has Wednesdays off! What a life, huh? I'm looking forward to heading back for more sessions throughout the next few weeks, I really am. I didn't think I'd enjoy GP this much. Not that I could ever be a GP, but as a rotation for med school it's pretty sweet going.

Plus, relatively more free time! Most evenings, it looks like, I'll have off for slow but steady exam study. And today I even had a chunk of time around lunch to go for a hefty run, yay! It was unusually warm -- that pre-rain warm breeze -- which made for a particularly enjoyable hour. :) Feel refreshed, tired, and sleepy. I'm in for a good solid sleep tonight!

All in all, I feel like things are starting to look up a bit, after a semester and three weeks of craziness and a certain degree of breaking-of-my-spirit. Things are looking up, kid! Things are looking up...

the night my heart glowed with joy

My birthday has come and gone and it's kind of hard to believe how perfect it turned out to be. More than the occasion, the event, the place, the money, the weather, the time, it's the people around you that make all the difference. And on Thursday night, each individual person who came to my 22nd had a way of making my heart GLOW. :) That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call the natural high which comes with overwhelming contentment.

Having Kirsty there really was the cherry on top of the cake, and I know it wouldn't have come close to being the awesome, perfect night it was without her there playing "host," making sure everything was going well and everyone was happy. More than that, I am so glad my family -- parents and sister -- could come share in the evening with my friends; it was the meeting and marrying of the two groups of people in my life who together "make my joy complete."

In the midst of life and all the craziness that comes with it, it seems I've managed to surround myself with the most lovely, beautiful, amazing, brilliant people: friends of the past, present, and times to come. What an incredible feat that is in and of itself! At the end of the day it is those passing conversations, seemingly insignificant moments, the glance, a look, a thought shared between those you love that is the measure of a life fully lived. And my cup, in that way, abounds. Not too shabby for 22 years. :)

Twenty-two... yikes. Strange as it is to admit it feels like a real milestone. More than 18 or 21, Thursday night felt like a real turning point in my life. I think it was looking back on how far I've come, the people surrounding me, and the fact that I'm no longer "21" but now "in my twenties." It really feels like the end of an era.

to the woman who gave life to me 21 years and 363 days ago

Mum walking into my room, mid-brushing teeth: "Anna! Happy birthday!!"

Me, staring at her blankly: "Mum... my birthday's not until Friday. It's Wednesday..."

Mum: [pause, cue: confusion] "...oooh... Your sister's birthday is on an 8th. I got confused. Nevermind, nevermind!"


Thanks, Mother! After 22 years you still get my birthday mixed up. LoL I wouldn't expect anything else.

definitely, maybe (but more definitely, less maybe)

There's this scene in the movie "Definitely, Maybe" which is completely insignificant in the context of the film, but one which I can't seem to get out of my mind lately. It's near the end of the movie when Ryan Reynold's character, after finally signing his divorce papers, comes to see Isla Fisher's character, April. After a string of part-time jobs, travelling and generally living out her twenties with an utter lack of direction, April ends up going to grad school and, when Ryan Reynolds comes to visit her at her office all those years later, she's working at Amnesty International headquarters in New York City. And that one scene which I can't seem to get out of my head is when he enters the foyer and sees her walking down the corridor with a cup of tea in hand, mid-discussion, and he just watches her for a few seconds.

I've been trying to figure out why I seem to be replaying this one particular scene over and over in my mind lately. It's got absolutely nothing to do with the movie itself, the plot or the romance. It's that moment when she's walking down the corridor of this international organisation and, after years of misdirected passion and energy, she's finally at the place she wants to be, doing the work she is fully invested in... Years from now I know there will come a moment when I am walking down the corridor of this international organisation in New York City with a cup of tea in hand, mid-discussion, and for a split second that scene will come to mind... and I know I'll have this incredible sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and purpose, knowing I'm at the place I've always wanted to be, doing the work I am fully invested in, with all my passion and energy, heart and soul. And I'll smile. Because that will be a good day.

so that's what sunlight feels like!

Week 1 of 3 of my Public Health rotation. There is a part of me who can't help but feel guilty for leaving the house when there's light outside. Nine A.M. starts, two P.M. finishes: it's such an unusual treat! Unusual, but most welcomed. A good balance between busy but not exhausting.

Evidently I enjoy Public Health much more than most of my classmates. Plus I'm actively trying to pay a little more attention than I would by default because I know that these fundamental skills will be relevant in my future studies/career. The further I progress in my medical studies the evermore confident I become that Public Health/Policy is what I want to get into, regardless of the clinical specialty I'll train in, because I really am more of a "Big Picture" type of thinker-- and that's where all the excitement is! Developing world medicine, NGOs, health in the context of social justice...

In the midst of a friendly classroom debate/discussion about tobacco control, I was reminded today of just how much I miss having that fiery passion about a cause. I look forward to when I can channel that kind of energy once again, with the knowledge, skills and experience to really back it up. :)

just friends... really, Anna?

I watched Transformers 2 last night and man, I enjoyed it waaaay too much. Or rather, way more than what is probably appropriate for a woman my age... and seemingly way more than the six-year-old boy sitting next to me in the theatre because I got all he got out of it and then some. It was all that Good verses Evil jazz, Justice, Loyalty, Love, Sacrifice... all things that leave you feeling warm and fuzzy inside. I know they're only robots and whatnot, but come on, Optimus Prime is just too cool. So that made my Saturday night! :) I love a good warm-and-fuzzy blockbluster as much as a thought-provoking artsy indie film; there is a season for everything, yeah?

On another note, a chance conversation during my weekend in Auckland has led to, what has ultimately become, that final push I needed to get back to God. And it just rocks. Man, I missed him. As it turns out one of the Exec members is a Christian and, almost in passing, he shared with me a website which has been invaluable for me. I'm beginning to realise that being a 20-something Christian single is not easy and presents in and of itself its own set of unique challenges and dare I say struggles which I had never really given much thought to before.

I was not expecting my weekend in Auckland to have, what has turned out to be, such a significant effect on my growth as a Christian -- God sure does work in unexpected (but very cool) ways. It wasn't until I started reading some of those articles on the website that I realised a huge part of the difficulties I've been having in my Christian walk this past year has actually been, drum-roll please!, about relationships and guys. It's definitely been quite eye-opening trying to be honest with myself, holding up that mirror and forcing myself to examine those (not-so-healthy, not-so-Biblical) thought-processes which, unbeknownst to me, have become embedded into my thinking somewhere along the line.


Some food for thought (an excerpt from "Just Friends"):

"Intimate friendships between men and women almost always produce confusion and frustration for at least one of the parties involved. Close friendships by their very nature tend to involve extensive time talking and hanging out one-on-one. They tend to involve a deep knowledge of the other person's hopes, desires and personality. They tend to involve the sharing of many aspects of each other's daily lives and routines. In other words, they tend to involve much of the type of intimacy and companionship involved in — and meant for — marriage.

And yet, even with all this deep communication going on, at least one aspect of these friendships inherently involves a mixed message. No matter how clearly one or both of you have defined what's happening as "just friends," your actions are constantly saying "I enjoy being with you and interacting with you in a way that suggests marriage (or at least romantic attraction)."

The simple reality (of which most people are aware, whether they admit it or not) is that in the vast majority of these types of relationships, one of the parties involved either began the "friendship" with romantic feelings for the other person or develops them along the way. Either way, that person is now hanging on to the "friendship" in the hope of getting something more despite the "clear words" from the other person that he or she wants nothing beyond friendship.

To the extent that one person's romantic feelings have been clearly articulated to the other (and were met with an unfavorable response), to continue in some no-man's land of "good friends," is arguably to take selfish advantage of the vulnerable party. Yes, I know, the other person is an adult who is free and responsible to walk away if he or she is so unsatisfied, but like it or not, it tends not to work that way. Hope springs eternal, whether it should or not.

And that's the "clear" scenario. What if one person develops romantic feelings in a friendship in which no "clear words" have been spoken, such that the desires of the other person are a mystery? Especially if it's the woman in this position (as seems to be the case more often than not), she will likely feel that if she pushes for something more than friendship, she may lose the interaction and companionship she currently has. Still, given her desire for a husband — and perhaps to have this man as her husband — the status quo of "just really good friends but nothing more for some odd reason" will leave her unsatisfied, frustrated, and confused. I have seen and heard and read of such frustration and hurt playing out many times over."

if you could have dinner with one person, dead or alive...

Chopin's nocturnes has long been my "the one CD if I was stranded on a desert island," but today I've further decided if I could have dinner with one person, dead or alive, it would also be Chopin. I have no idea what I would say or ask. I just want to know what kind of person could hear in their minds and subsequently create what I firmly believe to be... perfection. Every time I listen to Chopin's nocturnes it makes me feel like I could die right there and then, and thought by thought, breath by breath, float away into the misty abyss.