"There was a man that lived by a river. One day he heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town and that all the residents should evacuate their homes. But the man said, 'I’m religious, I pray, God loves me, God will save me.'
The waters rose up; a guy in a row-boat came along and he shouted, 'Hey hey you! You in there! The town is flooding, let me take you to safety.' But the man shouted back, 'I’m religious, I pray, God loves me, God will save me.'
A helicopter was hovering overhead, and a guy with a megaphone shouted, 'Hey you, you down there! The town is flooding, let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety.' But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him, and that God would take him to safety.
Well, the man drowned. And standing at the gates of Saint Peter, he demanded an audience with God. 'Lord,' he said, 'I’m a religious man. I pray. I thought you loved me. Why did this happen?' God said, 'I sent you a radio report, a helicopter and a guy in a row-boat. What the hell are you doing here?' "
- The parable of The Man In The Flood, as told by Aaron Sorkin/West Wing
It dawned on me today that I am this man by the river. Last year I struggled spiritually as I lived my life in avoidance of God, big time, letting myself willfully push Him out of my life "just for a little while." Well, a little while turned in to a long freakin' while, and I knew by the start of this year that I couldn't keep living without Him; I couldn't keep pushing Him out because I was just not whole, not right, not myself, not complete; because my life, without Him, lost Purpose, and Power, and Hope.
It's been more than a few months since I reached that conclusion, and I have found a church which I really enjoy and have started to attend regularly with another friend of mine. And yet... there still is this... emptiness. And I keep asking myself why I still feel so... lost, and dry, and alone; why I still can't feel or sense or... I dunno... tacitly KNOW God's presence in my daily life; why I still feel like I'm missing that Joy and Peace I used to revel in each day when I was so right with God. I keep thinking, wondering, asking people around me... Why isn't God reaching out to me? Why isn't He fixing whatever this is? Why isn't He removing whatever it is that continues to obstruct and obscure and darken my path to Him? Why isn't He reaching out to me?
It suddenly dawned on me this morning that I am the man by the river.
I am that man, demanding an audience with God to say to Him, "I was so willing to live my life for you, Lord, so willing. And yet you never reached out to me. For a while you were so real in my life, you were so present, and strong, and powerful, and you quenched my every thirst, you provided my every need. You filled me with that indescribable joy and peace and love. You glowed inside of me, and through You, helped me to shine. And I know I pushed you away for a while; I know I avoided you and ran away for the World. But why when I called for you again, why when I wanted to come back to you, why did you not reach out to me? Why??"
It suddenly dawned on me this morning, God is replying, "How many of your beautiful brothers and sisters did I send you over that time? How many followers of my Son, Jesus Christ, did I send you over the year, those months, to encourage you and share that love and joy? How many times did you leave in envy of that joy they had, not realising it was for you? And when you kept crying out, did I not send you a vet, a teacher, a preacher, a Korean elder and a Filipino Catholic?"
I am that man by the river. And I think it's time for me to stop.
The waters rose up; a guy in a row-boat came along and he shouted, 'Hey hey you! You in there! The town is flooding, let me take you to safety.' But the man shouted back, 'I’m religious, I pray, God loves me, God will save me.'
A helicopter was hovering overhead, and a guy with a megaphone shouted, 'Hey you, you down there! The town is flooding, let me drop this ladder and I’ll take you to safety.' But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him, and that God would take him to safety.
Well, the man drowned. And standing at the gates of Saint Peter, he demanded an audience with God. 'Lord,' he said, 'I’m a religious man. I pray. I thought you loved me. Why did this happen?' God said, 'I sent you a radio report, a helicopter and a guy in a row-boat. What the hell are you doing here?' "
- The parable of The Man In The Flood, as told by Aaron Sorkin/West Wing
It dawned on me today that I am this man by the river. Last year I struggled spiritually as I lived my life in avoidance of God, big time, letting myself willfully push Him out of my life "just for a little while." Well, a little while turned in to a long freakin' while, and I knew by the start of this year that I couldn't keep living without Him; I couldn't keep pushing Him out because I was just not whole, not right, not myself, not complete; because my life, without Him, lost Purpose, and Power, and Hope.
It's been more than a few months since I reached that conclusion, and I have found a church which I really enjoy and have started to attend regularly with another friend of mine. And yet... there still is this... emptiness. And I keep asking myself why I still feel so... lost, and dry, and alone; why I still can't feel or sense or... I dunno... tacitly KNOW God's presence in my daily life; why I still feel like I'm missing that Joy and Peace I used to revel in each day when I was so right with God. I keep thinking, wondering, asking people around me... Why isn't God reaching out to me? Why isn't He fixing whatever this is? Why isn't He removing whatever it is that continues to obstruct and obscure and darken my path to Him? Why isn't He reaching out to me?
It suddenly dawned on me this morning that I am the man by the river.
I am that man, demanding an audience with God to say to Him, "I was so willing to live my life for you, Lord, so willing. And yet you never reached out to me. For a while you were so real in my life, you were so present, and strong, and powerful, and you quenched my every thirst, you provided my every need. You filled me with that indescribable joy and peace and love. You glowed inside of me, and through You, helped me to shine. And I know I pushed you away for a while; I know I avoided you and ran away for the World. But why when I called for you again, why when I wanted to come back to you, why did you not reach out to me? Why??"
It suddenly dawned on me this morning, God is replying, "How many of your beautiful brothers and sisters did I send you over that time? How many followers of my Son, Jesus Christ, did I send you over the year, those months, to encourage you and share that love and joy? How many times did you leave in envy of that joy they had, not realising it was for you? And when you kept crying out, did I not send you a vet, a teacher, a preacher, a Korean elder and a Filipino Catholic?"
I am that man by the river. And I think it's time for me to stop.
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