Yesterday I finally got a chance to finish up my "overseas" Christmas shopping seeing as it was the first weekend since getting paid for my summer research (finally). Even though it was Graduation weekend, which meant it would be crazy in town filled with '08 Graduates and their families, and not to mention the first weekend of December, I forced myself to head into town because I knew overseas posting deadlines were fast approaching.
And as I was standing in line with mums and dads and their shopping carts filled with toys, chocolates, and Christmas decorations, I found my mind was, on the contrary, largely preoccupied with the different pairs of heels I had tried on half an hour ago...
Now, why I bring this up is lately it's dawned on me that I think I've lost my Christmas Spirit. Let me clarify. I don't mean that I've become all Grinch-y at heart or that I no longer appreciate the season of love and joy and selfless giving. But I think somewhere between moving from the States, with their hot apple cider, brilliant Christmas lights and that uniquely American Christmas atmosphere, back home to New Zealand where the magical possibility of a Winter Wonderland isn't really... possible, in addition to not having any extended family around has contributed to this seriously nonchalant feeling I now seem to have toward Christmas and the Holiday Season.
I don't have neices or nephews to bake Christmas cookies with, or aunties and cousins to cook with; most friends are away, back home for the summer vacation or travelling overseas; and now that even my immediate family won't be together for Christmas this year (with Kirsty living up in Auckland and all), it seems that much less... distinct.
And curiously enough, I'm not sad about it. That's the other thing. You'd think it would bother me, but it doesn't. We're not putting up our Christmas tree, or even exchanging presents -- at least, not in the wrapped-and-under-the-Tree-until-Christmas-morning kind of way. And you'd think it would bother me. But it really doesn't. I've always been the kind of person who every year fantacises about and dreams of trying to recreate a Christmas from "Brothers and Sisters." But at least for now, this year, I'm really... not.
When did that happen?
And as I was standing in line with mums and dads and their shopping carts filled with toys, chocolates, and Christmas decorations, I found my mind was, on the contrary, largely preoccupied with the different pairs of heels I had tried on half an hour ago...
Now, why I bring this up is lately it's dawned on me that I think I've lost my Christmas Spirit. Let me clarify. I don't mean that I've become all Grinch-y at heart or that I no longer appreciate the season of love and joy and selfless giving. But I think somewhere between moving from the States, with their hot apple cider, brilliant Christmas lights and that uniquely American Christmas atmosphere, back home to New Zealand where the magical possibility of a Winter Wonderland isn't really... possible, in addition to not having any extended family around has contributed to this seriously nonchalant feeling I now seem to have toward Christmas and the Holiday Season.
I don't have neices or nephews to bake Christmas cookies with, or aunties and cousins to cook with; most friends are away, back home for the summer vacation or travelling overseas; and now that even my immediate family won't be together for Christmas this year (with Kirsty living up in Auckland and all), it seems that much less... distinct.
And curiously enough, I'm not sad about it. That's the other thing. You'd think it would bother me, but it doesn't. We're not putting up our Christmas tree, or even exchanging presents -- at least, not in the wrapped-and-under-the-Tree-until-Christmas-morning kind of way. And you'd think it would bother me. But it really doesn't. I've always been the kind of person who every year fantacises about and dreams of trying to recreate a Christmas from "Brothers and Sisters." But at least for now, this year, I'm really... not.
When did that happen?
No comments:
Post a Comment