Another day off after an ED shift last night, back from 6.30am Bikram yoga (more on that later), showered, coffee-ed up, and with David Gray in the background, I finally have a chance to reflect on my most recent adventure.
Where do I start? Half Marathon... wow. I can't believe I actually did it. Yet another one of those "life experiences" that I decide to do as nonchalantly as possible then proceeding into denial until I find myself in the thick of it. I am starting to realise this is a recurring approach to oh so many things in my life. LoL
For full appreciation of just how "Wow" my wow is, a little background is necessary, a little bit of embarrassing disclosure. I've never been a fast runner and 13year old Anna was not so fit. Studious, yes, hard-working, yes, but fit? Not really. The only "A"s I've struggled to get in school growing up were in P.E. (=physical education) and Art (lol). Back in the States my intermediate school had this weekly thing called the Fun Run, and you got graded on how fast you could run it. Not so fun, not so great at all. It was "only" three quarters of a mile (just over a kilometer) but I struggled. And because it was messing with my Grade Point Average overall, I took up the P.E. Department's offer to bump up your grade by running extra laps afterschool -- I think it was like 4x 400meter laps meant half a grade bump up for that run. They offered, but most students couldn't be bothered to take them up on it... Most. So there was 13year old Anna running laps by herself afterschool with one of the P.E. teachers supervising, watching from the bleachers.
Embarrassing disclosure... or not? I know that in life success isn't a matter of luck or natural ability but, rather, hard work and in a sense, how much you want it. One of the most valuable lessons I learnt from watching my parents' approach to life. And running laps by myself after school to bump up a P.E. grade back in seventh grade? Yeah... lol.
I have to admit, I wasn't thinking about this kind of stuff last weekend as I flew up to Blenheim for my half marathon. It was more trying to keep my mind settled, not to doubt myself or my ability to complete the run. I liked going for short morning runs during high school, but struggled to keep it up once I started med. Then, a couple years ago a lady at my gym told me it was essential to invest in a pair of proper running shoes and encouraged me to get back into outdoor off-road running. And I've been hooked ever since. Not much is certain in life, but one thing that is?: going for a run is just about the only thing which is so hard to get yourself to do but once you do, you never -- and I mean NEVER -- regret doing.
Two years later I signed up for my first half marathon. I wanted to wait until this final year of med school when I thought I would be able to invest the time and effort without it becoming a stressor in my life. I also signed up with a good friend of mine, Jade, who had also been getting more into running at the time. We decided to do the one up in Blenheim (beautiful wine country of NZ) because that way we could make a holiday out of it, take a long weekend from our respective full time jobs.
Thirteen weeks ago we started our "training," which isn't nearly as intense as it sounds. We both tried to go for at least two to three runs (anywhere between half an hour to an hour) during the week, and then one hefty run together in the weekend. We increasingly built up our capacity over those weeks (cardio fitness is so easy to build up... but so easy to lose again!). By the week of the half marathon I had three 16km runs under my belt and was feeling pretty confident I could do 21.5kms on the day... Hopefully. LoL
[As you read this commentary, follow my photo journey here]
Then before we knew it Friday rolled around and we were off! We had a 7am flight on Friday to Christchurch with a five hour wait so my friend Annemarie came to meet us at the airport. We went out to breakfast in the city and then for a bit of shopping which was great fun. (On a sidenote, bought two dresses, one of which is now my graduation dress, yay!) Then, flight to Blenheim on the smallest plane I've ever been on! Two rows of ten seats, a pilot who doubled as the flight attendant, an open cockpit, and no overhead compartments revealing the daunting truth at hand which was that we were all sitting in what was literally a metal tube. Now that's faith.
The flight was beautiful and not too turbulent (not nearly as bad as a flight to Wellington!), and we landed in Blenheim mid-afternoon. Jade and I went straight to our hotel in town, had a bit of a rest (we had both had a very busy week), then ventured into town to register and pick up our race packs. It didn't take us long as Blenheim is very, very small (cue: *shudder* Mr Universe, please don't make me stay here... please?? lol). We had an early dinner at a Turkish place, then headed back to our hotel for a spa and sauna followed by an early night.
We woke up the next day at 7am to a beautiful glowing red sunrise -- race day. Wow. Then, here was my mistake: normally when I go for a run I don't usually eat beforehand because I find it gives me a really bad stitch. My energy levels are generally fine up to an hour and a half runs, so I tend to eat afterwards. But, for the 16km runs I did struggle a bit near the end, and I had noticed I have less power than Jade (who has very healthy, regular eating habits). So we chatted about it the day before and I decided I would have breakfast the day of the race: Weetbix, a banana, cup of coffee, plenty of water. And I felt good. We got changed, grabbed our gear, and by 8am we headed for the bus across the street from our hotel that would take us to the Vineyard -- race start and finish.
The weather was perfect. I still can't believe how perfect it was. I had been checking the updates for Blenheim daily in the week preceding our race, and was worried when there was stormy rain forecast. On the day however it was cloudy, cool... perfect.
And the vineyard was beautiful. A canvas of golden yellow vines with brushstrokes of red and green, a true reflection of the wonders of autumn.
We arrived to find hundreds of people there already. They had 1750 people signed up in total, about a third in the run, hybrid (run and walk) and walk categories respectively. The runners started first at 9am. We had our briefing behind the Start Line at 8.50am, standing with hundreds of other people, adrenaline pumping, mind settling, focussing, harnessing, preparing. And then, then, I found myself moving forward with the herd of runners, into the vines, into the unknown.
That initial race start was an incredible experience for the senses. The hundreds of footsteps quickly coalesced into a pitter-patter of shoes on concrete that sounded like juicy raindrops slapping the roof during a storm. Then gradually as runners began to separate out according to speed and strength, it was like this enchanted rhythm fell over the course. Like the chugging of a train or the buzz of a refridgerator.
Then, reality dawned. I had a stitch. Less than three kms into the run I had the worst stitch I have ever experienced. Damn that breakfast and my stupidity for doing something my body wasn't used to on the day of a race. And I really couldn't shake it. Jade was enjoying herself so much, chatting away, enjoying the views, but all I could think about was focussing on my breathing trying to shake this stitch. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The first half of a run is always the hardest mentally (because once you're past the halfway point, you're on your way home) and kms 8 - 10 was the second hardest part of the run for me. Time became a bit of a blur and I found myself just putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Then, when I thought I was reaching Desperation Point, we came out from one of the vineyards to cross the road to be met with this huge Stoneleigh sign -- Stoneleigh, my favourite Riesling! A surprising morale booster! That, in combination with the drink-station marking 11kms and the fact that I finally managed to shake my stitch(!), got me back to a much better place mentally. The next five kms were actually really enjoyable -- my favourite part of the race. I got to look around, take in the magnificent views -- to revel in the awesomeness of where I was and what I was doing. To wonder and revel.
The 16km mark came and went, and had now reached the great Unknown. Neither Jade or I had ever been past this point, and we both knew this would be the hardest, mentally and physically. And I struggled. Unbeknownst to me, I was most likely dangerously dehydrated at this point, and I was starting to realise I had very little reserve left. Each km felt like an eternity's effort, and by the 19km mark my legs felt like 10kg bags of brick or lead. Lifting a leg up off the ground was a physical and mental effort and I just kept telling myself, "Anna, don't stop. Remember, your time doesn't matter, it's about running the whole thing. That's the goal you and Jade set. To run. Just keep running. It'll end soon. One foot in front of the other." It was tough. Not a pleasant experience at all. I learnt a lot about my (at times, very unhealthy) coping mechanisms. I noticed I get super internalised, and in the midst of serious suffering all I want to do is suffer in silence, alone. Jade's encouragement, help, even her mere presence amidst my suffering got to me in a way that scared me. It scared me how negative my thoughts became, and just how truly internalised I got; a sense that I was losing my grip on the essence of who I was, consumed by negativity and... even anger? And all I wanted to do was push away those who cared about me. It got me thinking about life. Running is an incredible metaphor for life, and I hope if I'm ever faced with that kind of suffering in life, I'll recognise any similar negative, scary responses in myself. Lesson #2.
I know for a fact Jade could have cut probably fifteen minutes off her race time if it hadn't been for me. Realising this, I told her sometime around this point that she should go ahead without me, that I'd be right behind her. But being the lovely person and great friend she is, she politely refused, assuring me she'd rather finish together, just as we started.
Finally... eventually... somehow, we turned a corner to be greeted by a crowd of smiling strangers, clapping and encouraging us in that final 200metres, the Finish Line in view. And with that there was a sudden electrifying surge of energy and power and we both sprinted to the end. It was over. Surreal. Exhausting. An adventure from beginning to end. One of those true Life Experiences.
But the story doesn't end there. We relaxed for a while, collected our prize bottle of wine (awarded to each participant) and waited for Jade's mum to finish then headed back to town. I took a quick shower, changed, and the three of us went to lunch. Strangely enough, after the race I wasn't feeling particularly hungry but as we stood in line at the Cafe I was suddenly consumed by a wave of hunger. Burger and fries it is! We sat down at our table and chatted away for a while. Then our food came. My plate of burger and fries sat in front of me, but I suddenly didn't feel hungry. Jade's mum was asking me about my time living in the States, and I was trying to focus on the conversation but, as Jade and her mum started chowing down on their lunch, all I could do was look down at my food and feel... not quite right. I tried to take a bite, then set it down again, all the while trying to focus on the conversation. I felt very, very... nauseous... and then (a feeling I've become much too accustomed to during my Surgical run) I felt hot and cold all over and in an instant was covered in sweat. Shaking and shivering, I didn't know why it was happening but, if six years of med school has taught me anything, I knew I had to lie down and quick. Serendipitously, there was a leather couch a few steps away. Abruptly I stopped whatever conversation I was having with Jade's mum, apologised, said I wasn't feeling so great and that I needed to lie down right now. I knew I was *this* close to collapsing.
On retrospect, I have no doubt I was utterly dehydrated. Despite having one full water bottle and then some after the race, before and during I must have only had like 500mls at most. And, knowing me, I sweat. A lot. It took me the rest of the afternoon and like three water bottles later to finally go to the bathroom -- a sign that I really was dehydrated, my kidneys trying compensating -- you can't drink like five water bottles of water and struggle to pee unless there's something truly wrong. Urine Output is key! In life!! On the hospital ward!! After a 21.5km run!!! Lesson #3. LoL. I spent the afternoon in bed hydrating while Jade and her mum went for a drive. A few hours, fluids, sleep and a hot shower later, I felt like a new person and up for dinner out.
Man, did I have an incredible sleep that night.
The next day we packed, checked out of our hotel and went for a drive through the vineyards. We went to a winery for some coffee, and wondered around to enjoy more of the views. A noon flight back to Christchurch followed by lunch at the Mex and shopping, then, we were flying home.
21.5kms, 2hrs and 2minutes, three days in Blenheim... a lifetime in the making. Truly, one for the history books.
But I have to say, me and running are going on a break for a while. LoL. I love you, but I think I need some space. Just a little. Just for a little while. :)
Fin.
The flight was beautiful and not too turbulent (not nearly as bad as a flight to Wellington!), and we landed in Blenheim mid-afternoon. Jade and I went straight to our hotel in town, had a bit of a rest (we had both had a very busy week), then ventured into town to register and pick up our race packs. It didn't take us long as Blenheim is very, very small (cue: *shudder* Mr Universe, please don't make me stay here... please?? lol). We had an early dinner at a Turkish place, then headed back to our hotel for a spa and sauna followed by an early night.
We woke up the next day at 7am to a beautiful glowing red sunrise -- race day. Wow. Then, here was my mistake: normally when I go for a run I don't usually eat beforehand because I find it gives me a really bad stitch. My energy levels are generally fine up to an hour and a half runs, so I tend to eat afterwards. But, for the 16km runs I did struggle a bit near the end, and I had noticed I have less power than Jade (who has very healthy, regular eating habits). So we chatted about it the day before and I decided I would have breakfast the day of the race: Weetbix, a banana, cup of coffee, plenty of water. And I felt good. We got changed, grabbed our gear, and by 8am we headed for the bus across the street from our hotel that would take us to the Vineyard -- race start and finish.
The weather was perfect. I still can't believe how perfect it was. I had been checking the updates for Blenheim daily in the week preceding our race, and was worried when there was stormy rain forecast. On the day however it was cloudy, cool... perfect.
And the vineyard was beautiful. A canvas of golden yellow vines with brushstrokes of red and green, a true reflection of the wonders of autumn.
We arrived to find hundreds of people there already. They had 1750 people signed up in total, about a third in the run, hybrid (run and walk) and walk categories respectively. The runners started first at 9am. We had our briefing behind the Start Line at 8.50am, standing with hundreds of other people, adrenaline pumping, mind settling, focussing, harnessing, preparing. And then, then, I found myself moving forward with the herd of runners, into the vines, into the unknown.
That initial race start was an incredible experience for the senses. The hundreds of footsteps quickly coalesced into a pitter-patter of shoes on concrete that sounded like juicy raindrops slapping the roof during a storm. Then gradually as runners began to separate out according to speed and strength, it was like this enchanted rhythm fell over the course. Like the chugging of a train or the buzz of a refridgerator.
Then, reality dawned. I had a stitch. Less than three kms into the run I had the worst stitch I have ever experienced. Damn that breakfast and my stupidity for doing something my body wasn't used to on the day of a race. And I really couldn't shake it. Jade was enjoying herself so much, chatting away, enjoying the views, but all I could think about was focussing on my breathing trying to shake this stitch. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The first half of a run is always the hardest mentally (because once you're past the halfway point, you're on your way home) and kms 8 - 10 was the second hardest part of the run for me. Time became a bit of a blur and I found myself just putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Then, when I thought I was reaching Desperation Point, we came out from one of the vineyards to cross the road to be met with this huge Stoneleigh sign -- Stoneleigh, my favourite Riesling! A surprising morale booster! That, in combination with the drink-station marking 11kms and the fact that I finally managed to shake my stitch(!), got me back to a much better place mentally. The next five kms were actually really enjoyable -- my favourite part of the race. I got to look around, take in the magnificent views -- to revel in the awesomeness of where I was and what I was doing. To wonder and revel.
The 16km mark came and went, and had now reached the great Unknown. Neither Jade or I had ever been past this point, and we both knew this would be the hardest, mentally and physically. And I struggled. Unbeknownst to me, I was most likely dangerously dehydrated at this point, and I was starting to realise I had very little reserve left. Each km felt like an eternity's effort, and by the 19km mark my legs felt like 10kg bags of brick or lead. Lifting a leg up off the ground was a physical and mental effort and I just kept telling myself, "Anna, don't stop. Remember, your time doesn't matter, it's about running the whole thing. That's the goal you and Jade set. To run. Just keep running. It'll end soon. One foot in front of the other." It was tough. Not a pleasant experience at all. I learnt a lot about my (at times, very unhealthy) coping mechanisms. I noticed I get super internalised, and in the midst of serious suffering all I want to do is suffer in silence, alone. Jade's encouragement, help, even her mere presence amidst my suffering got to me in a way that scared me. It scared me how negative my thoughts became, and just how truly internalised I got; a sense that I was losing my grip on the essence of who I was, consumed by negativity and... even anger? And all I wanted to do was push away those who cared about me. It got me thinking about life. Running is an incredible metaphor for life, and I hope if I'm ever faced with that kind of suffering in life, I'll recognise any similar negative, scary responses in myself. Lesson #2.
I know for a fact Jade could have cut probably fifteen minutes off her race time if it hadn't been for me. Realising this, I told her sometime around this point that she should go ahead without me, that I'd be right behind her. But being the lovely person and great friend she is, she politely refused, assuring me she'd rather finish together, just as we started.
Finally... eventually... somehow, we turned a corner to be greeted by a crowd of smiling strangers, clapping and encouraging us in that final 200metres, the Finish Line in view. And with that there was a sudden electrifying surge of energy and power and we both sprinted to the end. It was over. Surreal. Exhausting. An adventure from beginning to end. One of those true Life Experiences.
But the story doesn't end there. We relaxed for a while, collected our prize bottle of wine (awarded to each participant) and waited for Jade's mum to finish then headed back to town. I took a quick shower, changed, and the three of us went to lunch. Strangely enough, after the race I wasn't feeling particularly hungry but as we stood in line at the Cafe I was suddenly consumed by a wave of hunger. Burger and fries it is! We sat down at our table and chatted away for a while. Then our food came. My plate of burger and fries sat in front of me, but I suddenly didn't feel hungry. Jade's mum was asking me about my time living in the States, and I was trying to focus on the conversation but, as Jade and her mum started chowing down on their lunch, all I could do was look down at my food and feel... not quite right. I tried to take a bite, then set it down again, all the while trying to focus on the conversation. I felt very, very... nauseous... and then (a feeling I've become much too accustomed to during my Surgical run) I felt hot and cold all over and in an instant was covered in sweat. Shaking and shivering, I didn't know why it was happening but, if six years of med school has taught me anything, I knew I had to lie down and quick. Serendipitously, there was a leather couch a few steps away. Abruptly I stopped whatever conversation I was having with Jade's mum, apologised, said I wasn't feeling so great and that I needed to lie down right now. I knew I was *this* close to collapsing.
On retrospect, I have no doubt I was utterly dehydrated. Despite having one full water bottle and then some after the race, before and during I must have only had like 500mls at most. And, knowing me, I sweat. A lot. It took me the rest of the afternoon and like three water bottles later to finally go to the bathroom -- a sign that I really was dehydrated, my kidneys trying compensating -- you can't drink like five water bottles of water and struggle to pee unless there's something truly wrong. Urine Output is key! In life!! On the hospital ward!! After a 21.5km run!!! Lesson #3. LoL. I spent the afternoon in bed hydrating while Jade and her mum went for a drive. A few hours, fluids, sleep and a hot shower later, I felt like a new person and up for dinner out.
Man, did I have an incredible sleep that night.
The next day we packed, checked out of our hotel and went for a drive through the vineyards. We went to a winery for some coffee, and wondered around to enjoy more of the views. A noon flight back to Christchurch followed by lunch at the Mex and shopping, then, we were flying home.
21.5kms, 2hrs and 2minutes, three days in Blenheim... a lifetime in the making. Truly, one for the history books.
But I have to say, me and running are going on a break for a while. LoL. I love you, but I think I need some space. Just a little. Just for a little while. :)
Fin.
