low point

It's official: procrastination desperation. That's fifteen minutes well worth of distraction. Now, back to psych...

Post-note: That 0% facebook use in MICN5 October is apparently true for everyone but me... I think it's because tvnz-on-demand hasn't been working for the past two days. :(

yes indeed-y, I will most certainly jump through those hoops and I will do so with all my heart and a great big smile

I know I had planned a blog-hiatus in the lead-up to exams but I just got home from my last test for rural GP run and found myself with some seriously unexpected nostalgia.

My last rotation of my fifth year of medical school is officially over and I find myself wondering, has it really been five years??

When I think back on all the incredible, surprising, character-forming experiences I've had, it's both easy and hard to believe that it has been five years since this crazy journey (<-- corney, I know but there's no other way to describe it) began.

I still remember the Anna from four years ago with equal parts cringe, warmth and disbelief, much like unexpectedly stumbling into an old photograph of yourself in the bottom of your closet and wondering what happened to that person staring back at you. Sure parts of her remain, but mere remnants and fragments within the context of this much older and different woman, the product of numerous metamorphoses over the years passed.

I think this nostalgia has been creeping up on me slowly but surely for a while now. A few days ago as I was standing lost in random thought while blow drying my hair I found myself thinking of the "nine lives" I used to dream about as a teenager, the nine occupations I wished I could live out: Anna the magazine editor-in-chief, Anna the journalist for Newsweek, Anna the PhD US history student turned professor, Anna the television producer, Anna the novelist, Anna the US Air Force pilot (I know, laugh, but it was the stepping stone of becoming an astronaut, the ultimate ambition for most of my adolescent life), Anna the diplomat for the United Nations, Anna the food critic, and last but not least, Anna the international human rights lawyer. As I recounted these random (and not to mention, lofty) ambitions of my youth, I found myself thinking how ironic it was that "Anna the doctor" never -- and I mean, never -- once crossed my mind. For someone who constantly entertained a thousand different lives and always feared having to settle on one, I find it more than a little ironic that the one thing I ended up doing was the one thing I could never have imagined even just five years ago.

And look at me now. Nine days away from medical school finals, nostalgic as ever, reflecting on how I couldn't picture myself doing anything else in the world. Man, God is awesome. He really does exceed your expectations every single time -- no matter what you could ever plan or imagine for yourself, His Plan, His Will, is so much more amazing, and brilliant, and fulfilling than anything you could ever dream of or conjure up.

I've been so incredibly at peace the past week or so, and I know it's all because of God. I'm excited for exams because regardless of what may happen, when I look at how far I've come, how far all of my classmates and myself have come it's amazing to see the utter transformation we've undergone. And you know what? I don't need an examiner or a hundrend multiple choice questions to tell me what I'm confident in my heart of hearts to be true, which is that I've studied my butt off for five years and I'm so incredibly excited and ready to be an intern. I'll jump through whatever hoops Med school, Society and Convention want me to, because I can't wait until the day I get to rock up to a patient in the emergency room and say, "Hi! My name is Dr Anna, and I'm gonna do my best to look after you today." That, ladies and gentlemen, is gonna be a freakin' awesome day. :) Here's to the next nine days, and to the rest of our lives.

i'll see you on the other side

In 25 days it'll all be over folks! On Friday I flew home after five weeks of rural GP in Motueka/Golden Bay (Nelson area!). Countless amazing experiences and many unexpected friendships later, I am back home and now -- in the routine and comfort of home -- well into study hibernation.

Twenty days until OSCEs, 25 days until exams are over.

I promise to share all my awesome, utterly random rural GP stories once exams are over -- Insights, Reflections and Revelations From A City Girl At Heart -- but for now I'll leave you with but one thought: "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." - Isaiah 26:3,4


A few pictures as a prelude of what's to come: