has public health and postgrad study been on my mind *that* much recently?

I was finishing up my workout at the gym this morning with the exercise bike, grabbing a gossip magazine from the basket without looking at the cover -- and as I was reading an article, for a split second, wondered why they were taking about the World Health Organization. They really weren't.

On another note, I found the most hilarious website this morning called Stuff White People Like. Not only funny but oh so true. I can't remember the last time I laughed that hard. No, wait, nevermind... it was last night watching The Friday Night Project with guest host Steven Segal. Now that was funny.

recipe for madness

As promised, a little bit more about the Foreign Policy conference which, overall, was thoroughly enjoyable and stimulating!

Favourite speaker award has to be a three-way tie between the MP from Switzerland, the Professor from Duke University, and the Maori academic from Victoria University. The Swiss Minister of Parliament who talked about Direct Democracy (which I had never heard about before!) was undoubtedly the most eloquent person at the conference. The Professor of International Relations from Duke University in the States spoke via video link on post-9/11 foreign policy, etc -- not only very interesting but extra points for his oh-so American accent (*swoon*). And the young lady Maori academic from Victoria University spoke so incredibly articulately on Indigenous Peoples and Human Rights that I now have a fervor for Maori Health and its inherent inequalities. No, the sky is not falling: her talked has taken a sympathetic but uninspired medical student and given her... well, let's just say now when I talk about Maori Health Issues my words-per-minute has increased dramatically! I'm even hoping to get a research scholarship to do a summer studentship on medical education and Maori Health... hoping. That is, if I can find a supervisor and get some funding.

Other than that, I've largely been enjoying having not much to do. Although, having said that and being the closet overachiever that I am, there is always more to be done. The next issue of the NZ Medical Students Journal is coming together -- finally! :) -- but dotting the "i"s and crossing the "t"s are still required. I've still got notes and books from my Medicine run strewn around my desk as a visual manifestation of the Chaos Theory... I've been meaning to organize it all as well as "review" (aka: st--y) some of the essential concepts, but have yet to succeed in either. Or even attempt, to be perfectly honest. But I will! I will! I will! before my break is over. Also need to write a book review for another one of those silly assignments where quality doesn't matter, just the mere act of production. A sad reflection of our modern (?soul-less) curriculum-based education.

And last but not least, this new research project I can finally start work on! It's the one my summer research supervisor offered me in March, which I've been keen to start work on and had been hoping do to during this break. I finally met with a guy today who showed me how to use the digital photography set-up they have in the Anatomy department. After talking to him I realised this is a much bigger commitment than I originally thought, hours-of-work wise. More specifically, it looks like I will be holed up in the same windowless 5x9 room I was working in this past summer for all of tomorrow and most of next week, the last of my holiday... sitting in the dark... by myself... photographing cadavaric slices of anus. No joke. Thus is the nature of research. LoL.

power to the people

Just got back from Day 2 of the 43rd Otago Foreign Policy School, and so far have thoroughly enjoyed myself. When I found out about it a couple months ago I signed up a. because the timing worked out perfectly (the first weekend of my break) and b. the topic seemed so interesting (Power to the People? Public Participation in Foreign Policy). Other med students go skiing, play an instrument, participate in social sports, and I voluntarily spend the weekend listening to speakers talk about the nature of democracy -- they tell you to keep other interests besides medicine, and that's precisely what I'm doing. LoL.

More about the speakers and talks later, but for now suffice it to say my inner nerd was satisfied. 100% completely satisfied. :)

one of many natural highs

This semester must have been harder on me than I realised because it feels SO good to be on break. I almost can't recall the last time I felt this good. I'm probably on a mild endorphin-induced high from spending an hour at the gym this morning, but HELLO! did you hear that? I actually went to the gym. That in itself is a victory. :) Not to mention, followed by the longest hot shower I've had in yonks. Oh, the simple pleasures of life.

It feels so good to be on break. I can't wait for summer... I try not to think about how it'll be my last.

I want to watch Dan In Real Life again... I wonder when it'll come out on dvd...

Got Liam Finn's album this weekend, which is just what I needed... fits my mood oh so perfectly. He played in Auckland on Saturday... urrrrgh. I'm SO moving to Auckland after I graduate, most definitely.

Now I'm off to do... absolutely nothing. Mmhmm...

If I were a city, I'd be...

MOSCOW

Your chic mystique makes you an intriguing person to be around. You love to whirl in a blizzard of parties, shows and exhibitions, seeking out the most exclusive hotspots. But when the party's over, you slip away to snuggle up at home. Poka, baby!

[Picture from here]

So according to cnn.com I'd be Moscow... I love it! Darn, I've always wanted to go to Russia and now I want to go even more. More specifically St Petersburg, but definitely Moscow as well. And I want to go in the dead of winter. Crazy, huh? I've always wanted to.... *sigh*... soon enough, I guess.

I was getting my hair done yesterday and as always small talk with Jodie ensued. We were talking about what she'd do if she won the Lotto and her immediate answer was to buy a house, or several houses in fact as an investment. I've always thought you could tell a lot by a person's answer to that question -- their personality, their priorities, etc. Try it. As for me?

Jodie: "How about you. What would you do if you won Lotto?"

Me: "Oh, I think I'd --"

Jodie: "You'd travel, huh?"

Me: "Hahaha... it's that obvious?"

Actually, I'd pay off my student loan first, the put away money to study postgraduate at one of the most expensive universities in the world, and then I'd travel. I told you one could tell a lot from that answer.

the journey

It's great being back home. Oh, how I've missed my family, my house, my bed... my big, comfy, perfect bed! Last night was the first in five weeks that I've had uninterrupted sleep, and boy did it feel pretty darn awesome. And although I had planned on spending the day studying for my OSCE tomorrow, I ended up bumming out with Kirsty (hardly surprising!) doing hands down one of my favourite things ever -- watching West Wing. :))

I'm already on break mode, despite having this awful oral exam tomorrow as well as a few assignments still due in within the next week which is kind of a downer. But what can ya do, huh? Life is life. Med school is med school. But I really am looking forward to the three weeks of holiday ahead. Much deserved I like to think.

Yesterday I was reflecting somewhat on the past five weeks and the experience it's been. Overall, it was pretty great. Just thinking purely about the progress I've made in my clinical skills - it's exciting. Call me a nerd but when learning, studying and working pays off, it really is... fulfilling. I had my one-hour long case yesterday where I took a history from a patient, did examinations and orally presented to my consultant, complete with differential diagnosis and a management plan, and it went well. But what's more, I had fun! I wasn't nervous at all, and I knew I'd pass so right from the get-go it was just this great learning opportunity. And to think I wasn't any where near being able to do that five weeks ago... a real sense of personal achievement.

I know it's cliche but life is truly about the journey, not the destination. And every year, every week, every day is in itself a real adventure. :)

lightheaded, not vertiginous

How can five weeks feel like forever?

I am ready to go home.

More than ready.

But in the end, I got exactly what I asked for... as I always seem to do.

I needed some time away.

From you.

And you.

And you.

And you

... and you.

I wanted to lose myself in this whirlwind experience.

I wanted to cut myself off from everything familiar, everything comfortable, everything with an underlying connotation. Everything that seemed to have been closing in on me ever since...

And it worked.

But will it last?

... I hope so.

I'd tag along with you ANY time...

Did my weekend on-call shift today and let me tell you, waking up at seven on a Saturday morning is mightily painful. Actually, I can't remember the last time I had to wake up at 6.50am on a weekend. All of which only reaffirms my desire to make the most of my years as a student when I can slack off in the middle of the afternoon and have the weekends all for myself.

It was great though, I'm glad I did it. Plus, it was a good way to pass the time while stuck in Timaru for the weekend, otherwise I probably would have gone mad again. We had a four and a half hour ward round but the house surgeon on-call is lovely and the consultant (who I've heard horror stories about from the other med student here) was actually quite nice! He's a bit gruff, at times abrupt, his mannerisms esoteric, and he most definitely hasn't heard of the "bio psychosocial" model for contemporary medicine, however, he's one of those truely traditional, quintessential physicians in every sense of the word. The kind you imagine from 1890 who came around your place with a stethoscope and didn't need any kind of tests to figure out what was wrong. A rarity in our day and time.

Plus, he wears sneakers like House. Hehehe...


Just before venturing out into the SNOW to go home:

Me: "Thanks for letting me tag along today, [on-call house house surgeon]. It's been great."

ocHS: "Nah, that's fine. I'm sorry there hasn't been much for you to do."

Me [Inner monologue]: I don't mind cos you're gorgeous and you smell nice... mhmmm... :)

Today

Today was one of those good days when I remember the excitement and fun to come in the very near future when I will finally be a junior doctor.

Today was one of those good days when a 75-year old Scottish patient wants to set me up with his accountant grandson in Auckland.

Today was one of those good days when I overcame the last of my nerves associated with taking blood upon my discovery of the brilliant butterfly.

Today was one of those good days when I had fun, learnt lots, and didn't at any point feel too stupid. Relatively speaking, of course.

Today was one of those good days when I remember why I stay in med school and why I want to be a doctor.

Today was one of those good days...

and so it begins...

Eight days until I get to go home.

Ten days until my mid-year break.

The countdown has begun.